I asked guys to be honest with me about their biggest frustrations and most deeply-held pet peeves when it comes to girls' messages on dating apps. It's been a super eye-opening day for me, to say the least... especially because I'm guilty of a couple of the behaviors below.
And even though it can be tough to take a critical look at your own habits, it's on all of us to make dating culture happier and healthier for everyone. Plus, the better conversational partner you become, the more likely you are to find what you're looking for on dating apps. (I don't know anyone who really wants to be stuck in dozens of unsatisfying convos.)
It's time for a little tough love, courtesy of the eight guys below who just want dating apps to be a better place for everyone.
Dropping off in the middle of a conversation.
— Joe, 24
Being rude about someone's height.
— Christopher, 24
A lack of enthusiasm.
— Dylan, 20
— Wes, 27
Just saying "hi" — or an unwillingness to open up.
— Dan, 30
Mentioning in your bio that you want someone to say more than just "hi."
— Brent, 27
— Matt, 26
Don't use dating apps unless you're actually looking for sex or love.
— Ben, 28
That last one hit me in the feels because he sums up the main problem here so succinctly. People are rarely mindful of the work or energy that they cost others.
I get it — it's easy to feel drained when you're responding to yet another barely-indistinguishable message on a dating app. But if you're feeling burnt out, the answer is to politely bid your matches goodbye and log off until you're excited about dating again. Because your rude behavior is burning out other people, too.
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