When I got engaged, I wasn't so much nervous that my entire life was about to change, but rather, I was frantically trying to decide which ladies would be helping me get there. The bride tribe is a big deal, and I knew that my handful of ladies would consist of women I couldn't see myself welcoming a new chapter of life without. Ultimately, I still go back and forth about the things I wish I knew before choosing my bridesmaids, because a bit more peace of mind is always a lovely thing to have.
I was so happy about the choices I made for my bridal party, though. While my mind was consistently going to war over the little things, they were always there to wave the white flag, and knew just what to do to get me to calm TF down. Honestly, your ladies aren't just there to wear those dresses you always envisioned your tribe in. They are there to help you embrace the vision of your special day and provide unmatched emotional and mental support.
Getting married can really be stressful, especially when you just want things to go smoothly. I loved my tribe. Looking back, there would only be a few things I'd adjust during this amazing part of my life with my girls. Oh, my husband was a pretty cool part of it, too.
1. Their Differences Are What Make Them So Special
I'm the type of person who considers everyone else's experiences before my own. And let me tell you — my ladies were so diverse and their personalities were so different.
At first, I wasn't quite sure how they'd all get along. Ultimately, I realized that the point of having various bridesmaids isn't so that they'll assimilate, but so that each one will bring something super unique to your big day and the days leading up to it.
2. That Whole Hierarchy Thing Only Exists If You Let It
You know how one bridesmaid can be on a power trip and feel like she runs everything? I'm convinced that only happens if the bride gases up her head and gives her the impression that she is the leading lady. I sat back and let them delegate accordingly, without any problems.
3. They Really Don't Need That Much Guidance
At first, I thought I was going to have to lay out to-do lists and delegate duties, because a majority of my bridesmaids had never been in a wedding before. This was also my first time getting married, so I wanted to stay on top of things. Once your ladies get that bridesmaid title, though, they naturally become some of the most helpful people ever, and you're so appreciative.
4. It Doesn't Matter How Long You've Known Each Of Your Ladies
Your bridesmaids do not have to be based off of people you've known for years. That was my initial thought, and then I realized that many friends weren't as frequent in my life, even though I had known them for a long time. One of my bridesmaids who I knew for the shortest amount of time met me at the worst job ever, but we immediately became best friends. Time doesn't define who makes the cut at all.
5. It's Super Important To Dedicate One-On-One Time With Your Bridesmaids
Initially, I thought that the whole group needed to get together and discuss the wedding planning. Spending quality time with each one of your bridesmaids is so important, and shouldn't be overlooked. You aren't trying to exclude anyone, but each friend has something to offer you, and you won't want to miss out on that one-on-one bonding time.
6. It's OK If They Each Wear A Different Dress
My bridesmaids were super diverse. From short to tall, and completely different skin tones, I was freaking out about designating one style dress for them to wear. In the end, I decided to let go of the reigns, gave them one color swatch sample, and let them decide what kind of dress would work best for them. They all turned out so freaking beautiful.
7. They REALLY Are Your Confidants Throughout The Whole Process
I always knew I didn't want to overbear my bridesmaids even before I chose them. What I failed to realize was that they really are there to listen to you vent, help you with whatever they can, and keep you from going absolutely bananas. Confiding in them is one of the most stress-relieving things you can do.
8. Each One Of Them Will Inevitably Make You Cry
Man, do weddings sure know how to drag the feels out of everyone. I figured my maid of honor and maybe one of the other bridesmaids would make me cry — but they were not playing around with the sentimental vibes. I was a mess when they all gave their speeches. It was so beautiful to see how my getting married shaped their whole perspective on love and our friendship. Pardon me, because I need a Kleenex.
Your bride tribe is going to get you ready and prepared for one of the biggest days of your life. Your wedding is simply incomplete without them.