I've had a lot of fun with f*ckboys — typically described as people who like to date around casually (all genders can exhibit f*ckboyhood). I've also had many negative experiences with them. Sometimes, the casual nature of the hookup isn't conveyed well or I just have a bad experience in the aftermath. I know I'm not the only one who has witnessed terrible things f*ckboys have gotten away with, so I collected a bunch of stories for you. These will make you laugh, cry, grimace, and perhaps even swear off f*ckboys forever. But even if you don't (and it's totally OK to love f*ckboys), these stories will keep you entertained.
One of my biggest crushes of all time was a certified f*ckboy. He was a particularly dangerous type because he wasn't widely considered one, so he was able to get away with much more subtle behavior. For instance, he'd text me every day for a week and then disappear for two weeks, but claim it was because he felt like he'd been too clingy. I continued sleeping with him for a while, but eventually, the flakiness came to a head: He invited me over to his apartment and never showed (I just hung out outside for half an hour — in 20-degree weather). So, if you've dealt with a f*ckboy before, I'm right here with you.
Read on to find eight stories of f*ckboys and the things they shouldn't have gotten away with.
1. Dead Man Walking
My ex-boyfriend screwed my roommate while I was out of town for my grandfather's funeral.
— Zoe, 30
2. Numb And Naked
One time, after just getting out of a relationship, I went to a bar, then went home with this frat bro who, after 10 minutes of sex, said, 'You can get out now,' then told me he didn’t remember my name, and laughed! I sat around, numb and naked.
— Lauren, 22
3. Someone Got A Ring
I dated a guy for six months and I bought him a leather jacket. Three days later, he proposed to a stripper while wearing it.
— Della, 28
4. Leaned In Too Close
I was 17 and obsessed with David Lynch. This kid at school, who was maybe 19, wore an Eraserhead shirt, so I said 'Hey, cool shirt.' For months after, he'd approach me, lean in, and say, 'So, when are we gonna hang out?' I would just giggle nervously and say, 'Um I don't know...' until he stopped asking.
— Jillian, 33
5. Canada Nice
A one-night stand stole my Toronto Maple Leaf's hat, and when I politely asked for it back, he sent a video of his friend peeing on it, penis out and all.
— Jillian, 24
6. Getting Hot In Here
He took me back to his newly remodeled house, which he was extremely proud of. We were starting to make out when he decided the mood would be sexier with a fire going. Leaning on the mantel over the fireplace, he started jumping on giant logs of firewood, trying to break them in half. I guess he leaned too hard because, on about the third jump, the mantel and the entire stone wall over the fireplace (up to the ceiling) came crashing down around us. I mean, the entire living room looked like a bomb had detonated. I was just sitting in a pile of rubble, cracking up. The shocking part was that it didn’t even phase him — he pulled me upstairs as if nothing had happened. Until the next morning when we walked downstairs and he saw his home in shambles, he didn’t even remember it had happened! I guess f*ckboys do have a one-track mind, LMAO.
— Erin, 25
7. Prepping For The Future
I was hanging out with this guy for almost a year, who had told me he loved me, planned our wedding, and named our kids. I found out he had a long-term girlfriend the whole time. He freaked out. He told me I would never be loved because I was 'stalking his life' and said me calling him out was 'taking a serious toll on his mental health.' Like, what?
— Kathleen, 20
8. A Familial Bond
I found out my ex had a Tinder account open behind my back, and he got upset with me for blowing up his phone while he was asleep, and said that I shouldn’t even be upset because he only had a Tinder to make fun of ugly girls with his roommate. He somehow turned the entire situation on me and how I need to give him more space. Also, I found out my name was saved in his phone under 'sister' and his excuse was that we were 'close like family.'
— Masha, 24
From funerals to fire, f*ckboys get away with a lot. If you've ever dealt with a f*ckboy, you're not alone. Hopefully, these stories help you realize that many people come into contact with them. If you're able to see the humor in a negative situation, that's great, but if you just want to vent about your frustration with f*ckboys, that's totally OK, too. Just remember — you deserve to be with someone who doesn't put you in situations like these. Until then, happy dating!