I've had a lot of fun with f*ckboys — typically described as people who like to date around casually (all genders can exhibit f*ckboyhood). I've also had many negative experiences with them. Sometimes, the casual nature of the hookup isn't conveyed well or I just have a bad experience in the aftermath. I know I'm not the only one who has witnessed terrible things f*ckboys have gotten away with, so I collected a bunch of stories for you. These will make you laugh, cry, grimace, and perhaps even swear off f*ckboys forever. But even if you don't (and it's totally OK to love f*ckboys), these stories will keep you entertained.
One of my biggest crushes of all time was a certified f*ckboy. He was a particularly dangerous type because he wasn't widely considered one, so he was able to get away with much more subtle behavior. For instance, he'd text me every day for a week and then disappear for two weeks, but claim it was because he felt like he'd been too clingy. I continued sleeping with him for a while, but eventually, the flakiness came to a head: He invited me over to his apartment and never showed (I just hung out outside for half an hour — in 20-degree weather). So, if you've dealt with a f*ckboy before, I'm right here with you.
Read on to find eight stories of f*ckboys and the things they shouldn't have gotten away with.
My ex-boyfriend screwed my roommate while I was out of town for my grandfather's funeral.
— Zoe, 30
One time, after just getting out of a relationship, I went to a bar, then went home with this frat bro who, after 10 minutes of sex, said, 'You can get out now,' then told me he didn’t remember my name, and laughed! I sat around, numb and naked.
— Lauren, 22
I dated a guy for six months and I bought him a leather jacket. Three days later, he proposed to a stripper while wearing it.
— Della, 28
I was 17 and obsessed with David Lynch. This kid at school, who was maybe 19, wore an Eraserhead shirt, so I said 'Hey, cool shirt.' For months after, he'd approach me, lean in, and say, 'So, when are we gonna hang out?' I would just giggle nervously and say, 'Um I don't know...' until he stopped asking.
— Jillian, 33
A one-night stand stole my Toronto Maple Leaf's hat, and when I politely asked for it back, he sent a video of his friend peeing on it, penis out and all.
— Jillian, 24
He took me back to his newly remodeled house, which he was extremely proud of. We were starting to make out when he decided the mood would be sexier with a fire going. Leaning on the mantel over the fireplace, he started jumping on giant logs of firewood, trying to break them in half. I guess he leaned too hard because, on about the third jump, the mantel and the entire stone wall over the fireplace (up to the ceiling) came crashing down around us. I mean, the entire living room looked like a bomb had detonated. I was just sitting in a pile of rubble, cracking up. The shocking part was that it didn’t even phase him — he pulled me upstairs as if nothing had happened. Until the next morning when we walked downstairs and he saw his home in shambles, he didn’t even remember it had happened! I guess f*ckboys do have a one-track mind, LMAO.
— Erin, 25
I was hanging out with this guy for almost a year, who had told me he loved me, planned our wedding, and named our kids. I found out he had a long-term girlfriend the whole time. He freaked out. He told me I would never be loved because I was 'stalking his life' and said me calling him out was 'taking a serious toll on his mental health.' Like, what?
— Kathleen, 20
I found out my ex had a Tinder account open behind my back, and he got upset with me for blowing up his phone while he was asleep, and said that I shouldn’t even be upset because he only had a Tinder to make fun of ugly girls with his roommate. He somehow turned the entire situation on me and how I need to give him more space. Also, I found out my name was saved in his phone under 'sister' and his excuse was that we were 'close like family.'
— Masha, 24
From funerals to fire, f*ckboys get away with a lot. If you've ever dealt with a f*ckboy, you're not alone. Hopefully, these stories help you realize that many people come into contact with them. If you're able to see the humor in a negative situation, that's great, but if you just want to vent about your frustration with f*ckboys, that's totally OK, too. Just remember — you deserve to be with someone who doesn't put you in situations like these. Until then, happy dating!
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