6 Things Not To Say To Someone Who Just Had A Breakup, So Be Mindful
It's no surprise that going through a breakup is pretty much guaranteed to suck, especially when a couple has been together for a while and saw a long-term future. When someone is going through such an intensely difficult time, having close friends around to help them recover can be really beneficial to the healing process. But while it might be tempting to be completely honest with your heartbroken friend about your own thoughts, it's important to keep some things to yourself. There are definitely several things not to say to someone who just had a breakup, and TBH, the list is pretty long.
When it comes down to it, being there for a friend who's just had their heart broken isn't necessarily about talking, but more about listening. Of course, there will be moments when they ask for your opinion or where it's totally appropriate to share any helpful insight that may be relevant. However, first and foremost, just being there with them in whatever way they need can be so immensely helpful. If you're trying to comfort someone who's become newly single, try to stay away from saying these common things that might end up making them feel even worse about the situation.
1. "Don't Worry, There Is Someone Better Out There For You!"
While this is probably true, when people are in the process of separating themselves from someone who they were extremely close to, the last thing they're thinking about is who they may date in the future. So while it may feel like a comforting thing to say, instead try to be there to help them process the difficult emotions they're experiencing in the now.
2. "It's OK, I Didn't Really Like Them, To Be Honest"
We all know what it feels like to despise a friend's partner, so it's probably safe to assume that most of us have experienced the rush of relief when they finally kick them to the curb. However, it's important to prioritize their feelings, not turn their mourning into an opportunity to get your feelings about their ex off your chest.
3. "It's Probably For The Best"
Again, even if this is true, framing something that must feel awful for them as a good thing isn't necessarily going to make them feel better, especially when the breakup is still fresh. Instead, try to focus on being supportive of their decision without making value judgments about things being "good" or "bad."
4. "Just Enjoy Being Single"
Transitioning from being in a relationship to being single is oftentimes rocky. And chances are that your newly single friend will get to a place where they can embrace singleness eventually, but the truth is that now probably isn't that time.
5. "I Knew They Weren't The One For You"
If there was ever a time to not be a know-it-all, when your friend is going through a breakup is it. Try to keep your opinions in check, because saying something like this is not only rude, it also signals to them that you don't think they are capable of making good decisions.
6. "You Can Do So Much Better"
Yes, they probably can do better, but right now they're just trying to survive this devastating heartbreak. If they're saying negative things about their ex, it may be OK to agree with them — but be careful about implying that they were settling, which could make them feel even worse.
If you're unsure of what exactly to say to someone who has recently ended a relationship, try to remember the last time you had your heart broken. There was probably very little that anyone could say to make you feel any better, and that's OK. The best thing you can do is to let them know that you are there if they need someone to talk to or spend time with. You can also assure them that no matter how bad they're feeling in the moment, they will be able to grow and move past this understandably upsetting experience with time.
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