Even the happiest, most optimistic peeps out there find themselves in a bad rut from time to time. Life ain't always easy folks. Seeing your partner suffer through a rough period can be really hard. You want to help them see the bright side, without making them feel like you aren't taking their problems seriously. Everyone processes emotions — like sadness, grief, and feelings of helplessness — differently. So, the best ways to help your partner during hard times might not be obvious.
Maybe they lost someone who they were super close to, maybe they're completely fed up with their soul-sucking job, maybe they received a crushing rejection, or maybe they are struggling with feelings of sadness but can't seem to pinpoint the exact cause. We've all been down at some point in our lives, and during these crappy weeks, months, or even years, knowing that our partners and friends are there for us is so important. And if you feel like you've tried everything, then sometimes just asking them what they need is one of the best things you can do. If you want to be the best bae you can be for a partner who needs some extra TLC, here are five things you can do to help.
No matter what's going on in someone's life, everyone needs to eat.
It might sound a bit silly, but hear me out. If someone is going through a particularly hard time and is under a lot of emotional distress, sometimes it's the most basic things that can feel totally overwhelming. Even just cooking a meal can feel like too much, if they're in a really rough place.
Try cooking them their favorite comfort food. Even if you're not super confident in the kitchen, the effort will be so appreciated. If you know they love those pastries from that place near your office, then bring them over as a surprise when you can.
The goal doesn't have to be to cheer them up — a rough patch can't be fixed overnight — but just making them feel as loved and supported as possible is all you can do.
When someone opens up about the difficult things going on in their life, it can be tempting to get into "fix-it" mode, or to tell them that everything is going to be OK. But more often than not, when people need someone to talk to, they really just want someone to listen.
Coming up with practical solutions is great, but getting to the point where someone is ready to figure out how to move forward can take a lot of time — and as their bae, being the best listener you can will mean so much.
Sometimes you just need someone to tell you not to give up on something. If the root cause of your partner's negative feelings is connected to career struggles or rejection while pursuing their dreams, then continuing to encourage them is so important.
If they got rejected from every art school they applied to but still want to be a painter more than anything, then don't let them give up. Of course at the end of the day, it's their decision, but knowing that you are their biggest cheerleader could make all of the difference in the world.
Be careful not to nag or pressure them, but offering a gentle nudge every now and then and reminding them of their past achievements (no matter how small) could be just what they need to move forward.
Once they let you know that they're ready, helping them break down their goals into smaller, less stressful steps can be a healthy way to cope with less-than-ideal life circumstances.
If they suffered a loss and haven't been able to work through their sadness in a healthy way, maybe talking to a professional is the next step. That means they're going to need to make some calls and set up an appointment. Offer your help in any way. Even just hanging out together and brainstorming what's bothering them, and practical ways to improve the situation, might help. Putting things down on paper in more digestible steps can offer a ton of clarity.
Even if their goal is just to feel less sad, maybe you can help them discover a new hobby or passion that could help them feel more balanced.
One of the best things you can do for a partner that isn't doing well is to be generous with your time. This may sound like a no brainer, but life can get really busy. A bae who's going through a rough patch will probably need more of your time than they did when they weren't, and there's nothing wrong with that. Your entire life doesn't need to be all about your partner, but if they're struggling with something, your presence may be a big help.
Ups and downs are a normal part of any relationship, and no one is going to be on their A game all day, everyday. Trying your best to help your SO out of their rutt, whatever it may be, could really make your relationship stronger in the end. It's a testament that you truly care, and that your relationship can survive anything. And that's incredibly rewarding to know!
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!
