My dad is a big guy. I know people say this all the time and it's true when you're a kid because your dad's probably the biggest guy you know but, like, my dad is so tall that it's always the first thing people mention when they meet him. I expected he would be one of those dads who have gotten involved in their kids' love lives so when I first started dating, I 100 percent planned to use this to my advantage.
I wanted my dates to be intimidated by my dad so they'd always be nice to me. In hindsight, this was silly because anyone you date should be nice to you regardless of your dad's looming presence. But anyway, that's what I wanted. That's not at all what I got. So far, all my dad has managed to do is become lifelong friends with my boyfriends and help them with their business plans. Yes, this has happened on more than one occasion.
My dad will tell you that this is all because of his work in human resources, which has taught him to "manage the response you're likely to get from other people." Imagine being 8 years old and complaining to your dad about a fight with your BFF for his response to be, "Manage the response you're likely to get." I was not amused. With time though, I grew to appreciate his process. He's just a nice guy and scare tactics (as much as I'd love him to use them to ward off f*ckboys) just aren't his thing.
Believe me, though, everyone's dad has a thing. Here's how five dads have gotten involved (subtly and not-so-subtly) in their kids' love lives so watch out!
The first time a guy asked me out in high school, I told my parents he would pick me up from our driveway. My dad insisted he come to the front door to shake his hand and say hello. I think he got such a kick out of playing that classic dad role. I was eager to get that portion of the evening over and go out with my crush (who was a cute senior, ugh, butterflies), but he and my dad actually wound up hitting it off and having, like, a 20-minute conversation about Pacman. Years later, my main memory of that night is slumping down on the couch, waiting for them to finish talking!
— Hannah, 25
It wasn't my dad, but I was on a first date with a girl during my freshman year of college. Her dad called randomly in the middle of our dinner. He knew she was on a date so she thought it was an emergency. He just wanted her to bring him some dinner since he was hungry. She was super embarrassed the rest of the night and assumed I'd never call again. We have now been dating for ~2.5 years. Moral of the story, just because you're embarrassed doesn't mean it will end poorly.
The first time my dad met my (first ever!) boyfriend, he started sharpening his steak knife in the middle of Olive Garden and asked my boyfriend what 'his intentions' were. It was never meant to be taken seriously, of course, but it was especially hilarious because my dad is, like, not an intimidating guy at all. So I think, if anything, his weird Godfather behavior put my boyfriend even more at ease.
— Genevieve, 25
My boyfriend came to pick me up for a date. My dog, Missy, was on the floor licking her lady bits. That is bad enough, but my dad walks in, looks at the dog, then says to my boyfriend, 'I bet you wish you could do that.' My boyfriend is already uncomfortable, but he says gamily, 'sure.' My dad looks him dead in the eye and says, 'she'd probably bite you.' and walks away.
— Liz4tin
When my extremely protective and caring dad met my now ex-boyfriend, he casually informed him that he owns a construction business and, jokingly I think, that he would make him a pair of cement sneakers if he did anything wrong. In other words, if I'm not happy then he sure as hell won't be either. Since my ex ignored me for over a week and dumped me over a phone call the other day, I cannot wait to see how this jerk's new shoes come out. I hope they fit nicely. All kidding aside, I'm very lucky to have a dad who is so invested and interested in his child's life and am so grateful to have him to lean on after the, 'It's not you, it's me but we can still be friends,' conversation. Thanks for making me smile through my saddest days, Dad! I love you more!
— Dominique, 20
Thanks, dads of the world, for embarrassing your kids in front of their dates now and forever. I think it's safe to say dads do this out of love, which, if I'm being honest, makes it so much more tolerable (and absolutely adorable).
And hey, I'll admit that not all dad jokes are terrible. Did you hear the one about the termite? A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?" *Insert belly laugh here, like only a dad would.*
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