A girl's gotta eat. That's as true for dating (sort of) as it is for life in general. There's no shame in totally angling for a hookup, especially during these cold, winter months when it becomes that much more pleasurable to cuddle up next to a warm body in bed. There are plenty of things to do on a first date to improve the chances that you'll actually get what you want at the end of the night, and it starts with making certain that the two of you are on the same page. You're not going to hook up with someone who isn't looking for a hookup, too.
Be clear about your intentions: Is this a one-time fling or do you actually want to hang out again? Both are completely fine, but if you're really not in a place for a relationship — because make no mistake, being friends with benefits is still a kind of relationship — then you need to be honest about it both with yourself and the person you're sleeping with. The fastest way to hurting yourself or someone else is not communicating. So here's how to tell them you are looking for a hookup, even if not in so many words.
1. Drop Hints Throughout The Night
Don't be ashamed about wanting to have sex with someone. It's seriously a very nice compliment. You think someone is great enough to want to share your body with them! Good for both of you!
When you feel confident about your decisions, it's way easier to drop flirtatious hints throughout the night. Compliment them on the way they look; let them know that you're attracted to them. Be unabashed about paying attention to them, because really, what do you have to lose? The worst case scenario is you'll never see them again.
2. Ask Them Whether Or Not They Have Plans In The Morning
If you're going out with a school teacher who literally has to get up at 6 a.m., then you might be out of luck tonight, sweetie. But if you're going out on a Friday, find out your date's schedule to see whether or not they have plans in the morning. If they respond by saying that they have to get up early in the morning, then that's a signal that you need to cool your jets a bit. They might want to take things a bit slower than you do, and you have to respect their space! But if they say that they are free all day, then they could be just as down as you are.
3. Talk About Sex
The single best way to guarantee a hookup is to talk about sex. Talk about what you like. Share funny sex stories. Be respectful about past partners and their privacy, but don't be shy. When you talk about sex, you and the other person are basically imagining one another having sex. If they're as into it as you are, then that's a great sign.
4. Initiate Touch
If you're feeling a bit shy and don't want to be vocal about sex, touch your date's upper arm or the back of their hand to initiate contact. It's a sweet, subtle, and low-pressure way to let them know that you are interested in physically connecting with them, without having to spell it out completely.
5. Invite Them To Sleepover
Getting laid doesn't have to be as awkward as asking someone, "Would you please have sex with me?" You can ask them to have sex while still being super cute about it. Propose that the two of you have a sleepover. Say that you'll treat them to a massage. If you're feeling coy, you can even tell them that you have an extra pair of PJs they can borrow. If it feels like you're putting yourself out on a limb, well, that's because you are. Making a proposition to someone takes a lot of guts. Even if it doesn't work out, you can celebrate the fact that you did something brave.
But more often than not, when you are clear about what you want with yourself, the universe provides. Be safe, have good, consensual fun, and if you told them that you'd call them later, then make sure you actually do.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!