Ugh, sometimes exes are just the worst, am I right? No matter who ended things, or how amicable the breakup was, things post-relationship can get really tricky. Now, if you aren't looking to reconnect with an ex, it can be awkward if
they want to reconnect with you. So, these signs your ex wants to get back together can help you recognize what to look out for.
If you and your ex tried to maintain some form of friendship after your breakup, then you might be cool with them contacting you. But, that doesn't mean you want to get back together. On the other hand, if the relationship ended badly, maybe you've completely cut them out of your life. In any case, having an ex try to worm their way back into your life can be confusing, and it's even more confusing if you aren't aware that they're even
trying to get back together with you.
Whatever your situation may be, it's important to keep an eye on the potential signs your partner might be trying to get back together with you. Tagging you in memes like they did when you were together isn't always harmless! Understanding their intentions can really help you know what's going on, but also, decide what
you want to do about it. 01
First, They'll Say They Miss You
A lot of this depends on how the breakup went down. For all intents and purposes, let's assume that your relationship did
not end well. If that's the case, then your ex telling you they miss you might indicate that they're realizing what they lost in you as a partner.
"If all he can say is '
I've just really missed you' without describing exactly what he misses, then chances are he's still just reeling from the loss and just wants you back to get rid of that pain," explains relationship expert Mark Stefanishyn.
So, if your ex is reaching out and recalling the good times, get ready for what will probably come next.
Really, They'll Say Anything
The thing is, breaking up is typically hard. Odds are, you and your ex have probably both at least
considered the possibility of getting back together.
"If someone associates being single with being undesirable, unwanted, or broken, then the end of a relationship can feel so terrifying that they'll say anything to get away from those fears, even things like 'I've realized I do love you and I've changed,'" explains Stefanishyn.
Just remember: Being single is
so not the worst, and even if your ex is lamenting about how hard it is to be alone, don't fall for it. 03
They Might Even Lie About Why They're Reaching Out
Maybe you and your ex are trying to stay friends after the breakup, so they reach out with pleasantries once in a while. But if they're trying to tell you that they want you to come over to grab some of your things from their apartment, or to talk about who gets the cat, be careful.
Nicole Richardson, therapist and relationship expert, told Elite Daily that " Getting back with an ex can feel like putting on an old favorite pair of jeans," Richardson said. "It's familiar, which can be comforting, but there was a reason they stopped being your favorite."
There's a reason they're your ex, so if they're tricking you and saying they "just want to talk," when they
clearly want something more, tread carefully. 04
They Tell You They Still Care
This one can really mess with you. If you were in love with someone and it didn't work out, or they hurt you in the end, then, hearing from them after the breakup can be seriously unsettling. Maybe they tell you they're sorry, or that they've changed, but another huge indicator that your ex wants to get back together is that they tell you they still care.
It can be nice to hear, sure, and maybe they do! But that doesn't mean you should get back together.
They Could Pretend To Be A "Changed" Person
Now, in some cases, getting back with an ex might feel like the right thing to do. Not always, but if you feel in your heart that you're truly meant to be together, then getting back together might just be what you both need. But,
certified psychiatrist Dr. Susan Edelman, who specializes in women's issues, warns that it could be dangerous if you're not sure about your feelings.
"The only time it's a good idea to consider getting back with an ex in this situation is if he's very clear with you that he wants to get back together and he apologizes for his mistakes," Edelman tells Elite Daily. "Otherwise, you're just asking for trouble."
So, really, just be careful. As Edelman says, "Treat him like he's a stranger and let him earn your trust all over again." Only you know what will make you feel happy and secure in a relationship. If you truly believe your ex can give you what you need if you give them a second chance, trust your gut. Just tread
very lightly. Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!