It's almost 2018. A reality TV star is president of the United States, people regularly ask a cylinder named Alexa to do things for them, and driverless cars are a real-life nightmare. Oh, and marriage and babies are no longer the goal for all women. No matter your age, being single is not a sign of defeat; it is a choice. The future is female, and New Year's resolutions for single women are limitless.
Let me be very clear about something: there is no "better than" when it comes to relationship statuses. If you're not engaged, your co-worker's massive honker of a diamond may tempt you to say "I'm less than," but you'd be wrong. In fact, I would bet there are some married people who feel "less than" when they think about the single life you are living.
Being single can mean independence, freedom, and eating potato chips and hot sauce for dinner if you want to, but it also can mean loneliness. Being in a relationship can mean companionship and love, but it is not an end goal or solution. There are two different ways to live your life, and there is nothing wrong with either of them. Relationships are not perfect; they take maintenance and work, and so does being single. If you find yourself in the single category heading into 2018, here are some novel resolutions to make your year:
1. Take Yourself Out To Dinner
Have you ever taken yourself out for a martini and a steak? You should, because it's a true thrill. You will feel like a true boss lady. When I was younger, I used to feel deeply sad for people I saw eating alone with a book, but as an adult, my entire mindset has changed. Once you have traveled alone, you realize that eating out by yourself is quite liberating.
First off, you don't have to compromise on where to eat. If you're craving that charcuterie board at the cozy restaurant down the street but none of your friends are around to go with you, don't shame yourself into ordering your prosciutto in, to eat out of a to-go container. Instead, sit at the bar, order yourself something nice, and enjoy spending time with yourself. Added challenge: try not to take your phone out. Chances are you'll strike up a great conversation with the bartender or another patron.
2. Commit To Learning A New Skill
This is a great resolution for anyone, but if you happen to be single, why not show yourself a little love and treat yourself to a cooking class? Or maybe you just commit to 20 minutes a day to learning Italian via the Duolingo app on your phone. Making time to invest in a new, stimulating skill is incredibly fulfilling. Plus, when you're single, your schedule is yours and yours only. You don't need to worry about making it home in time for dinner.
3. Host A Monthly Friendship Gathering
You know that terrible habit all people seem to have of saying "let's get together" but never following through? Initiate a monthly evening of wine and cheese, board games, or even a book club for your friends — single or coupled up. If I didn't have such wonderful friends, being single would certainly feel a whole lot more lonely. So make a date, because once a month is doable for anyone.
4. Don't Self-Deprecate Based On Your Relationship Status
If you're single, it's easy to joke about how sad and lonely you are, even if in reality you are very happy. (Hi, my name is Kimmy and I am very guilty of this.) Try to catch yourself before quipping, "This is why I'm single," after ordering XL nachos for dinner. First, NACHOS FOR ONE ARE GREAT. Second, nothing is making you single except for your decision to be single.
This is a hard resolution, perhaps even harder than "no chocolate," so if you accidentally slip up, it's OK. Don't give up on the resolution entirely, just vow to be nicer to yourself.
5. Go On A Date, If You Want To
Whether you are happy to be single, sad to be single, or somewhere in between, commit to trying to go on some dates in 2018. The goal is not to get into a relationship, I promise. Even if you love being single, spending a night to meet a cutie — and maybe going home with them — is an excellent pastime for the new year. And if you are looking for a relationship, get out there! Sure, you'll go on some bad dates, but you'll also go on some good ones. Dating apps are treacherous for everyone, so no matter what happens, you're not alone.
I will now intentionally sound like a broken record so that I can hammer my point home before the clock strikes 2018: Being single is not better or worse than being in a relationship. Don't listen to what animated Disney movies subtly preached to you! Do what brings you unfettered joy, no matter what that is. I think these resolutions are a fun place to start.
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