I've been known to proclaim, "If I get married, I want my own bedroom." While I do love a good snuggle, and while I do intend to sleep in the same bed as my husband, Oscar Isaac, most nights, I've simply been living independently too long to imagine not having my own space. At a certain point, however, you might realize that you can have a much nicer apartment for a much nicer price if you move with your partner. Moving in together isn't easy, so I decided to come up with some New Year's resolutions for couples moving in together for the first time.
I have never lived with my SO, so I began by thinking about what it's like to live with a roommate. While you don't share a bed with your roommate, you share many common spaces, utensils, and paper goods. If you live with a roommate who is also your friend, you might also share many emotions. Things get complicated very quickly. Someone passive-aggressively does the dishes every single time without explaining that it bothers them, and suddenly you're in silent World War III.
The good news is that if you and your partner haven't moved in together yet, things haven't gotten messy yet. If you establish some boundaries, rules, and even some adorable "date night" resolutions, I guarantee that the transition will be easier than if you went into the move blind. Here are five New Year's resolutions for couples moving in together in 2018.
1. Clean Up After Yourself
I asked my friend who lives with her boyfriend what her number one advice would be to a couple moving in together and she wrote me back in all caps, "CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF." I feel this. Of course there will be times where you need to leave your dish in the sink because you're dashing out the door, but if you start relying on your partner to clean that dish up after you, there will be angst. Establish a rule about cleaning up your own messes and maybe not leaving them for more than a day, and it should be smooth sailing.
2. Don't Leave The Toilet Seat Up/Hair In The Sink
These are the top two "moving in together" jokes that every mediocre sitcom makes. And I'm sure we've all seen enough mediocre TV in our lives to know that gross hairs around the sink and in the shower are major "nopes." Again, follow the "I'll clean that hair out of the tub in one day," rule, or just DO IT RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE THE FIGHTING ISN'T WORTH IT.
3. Commit To Giving Each Other "Alone Time"
Yes, I'll admit that my own bias is involved in making this a resolution. While you are probably moving in with your SO because you love spending time with them, living together means you are spending all of your time with them (outside of work and other social events). Thus, you might want some "alone time." If you, like me, get into moods where you just want to be alone, or at least quiet, for a while, make sure you make time for that. As a couple make a resolution to give each other space, without making the jump that being quiet means that one of you is "mad" at the other.
4. Keep A Schedule For Household Chores
I have yet to meet a human who enjoys being the roommate who constantly has to buy the toilet paper replacement. True, TP may not be that expensive, but it's the principle of it. Maybe you and your partner switch off all of the household chores week-to-week, or maybe you're each designated particular chores. Either way, taking care of these tiny logistics ahead of time is an excellent way to mitigate future tensions. Or you could just pool your money together and hire a cleaning service...
5. Put A Date Night On The Calendar Once A Week
Now that you live with your partner, you may be thinking, "Why would I need to go on a date with them?" But remember, living together means you're seeing each other in the morning when your hair is matted to your head, as well as at night, after a long day with your insufferable boss at work.
Scheduling time to keep the romance alive and make time for each other either out at dinner, at a concert, or even just with cheese and wine at home is important. Committing to setting this time aside before you even move in together? A brilliant plan, if I do say so myself.
Five New Year's resolutions does seem like a lot, so please feel free to pick and choose from the above as you and your partner see fit. Either way, I wish you the best of luck in your new home together. I think the one thing that all of these resolutions have in common is that communicating your needs is key, especially when you live with a partner. Keep that in mind, and enjoy your new chapter.
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