The Kardashian Christmas card was amazing if you didn't expect to see Kylie Jenner. If you did, however, it was hella disappointing. Lots of people were hoping Kylie Jenner would reveal her reported baby bump on day 25 of the Kardashian advent calendar. But Christmas came and went, and no pregnant Kylie Jenner was anywhere to be seen. Whatever, it's fine. I'm fine! For those of us who were looking for Jenner, there were lots of other things we didn't pay attention to as a result. There are actually a lot of Kardashian Christmas card details we overlooked because we were too obsessed with waiting for Jenner's appearance.
First of all, it looks like Kendall Jenner is totally photoshopped into all of the photos. She's got this blank stare that's more "I'm not actually physically present at this photo shoot and therefore am not able to acknowledge the other people in this photo" than a Blue Steel modeling choice. Then there's the issue that Kanye West is the only man to appear in the shoot. Where you at, Rob Kardashian? Maybe he's in prison for posting revenge porn of Blac Chyna! Just kidding, he was totally on Khloé Kardashian's Snapchat story on Christmas morning. He probably just opted out of the Christmas card because he's Rob. Instead of just chatting about this, here's a full list of all the details in the Kardashian Christmas card we overlooked thanks to our commitment to finding out if Kylie Jenner is actually pregnant.
1. Kendall Jenner totally looks like she has been photoshopped into all of the photos.
Look, I clearly wasn't present when these Christmas photos were taken, but I am 95 percent sure Kendall Jenner wasn't, either. Don't even try to tell me that Jenner looks like she's actually standing next to Kourtney Kardashian in the photo from Christmas Eve. The body language just doesn't match up, and her placement/pose on the Christmas day photo doesn't seem right, either. I get she's the family ~model~ and everything so it makes sense that she'd be the most posed, but she looks too staged next to everyone else who's clearly looking to take a candid shot. She didn't get the candid memo because she wasn't there! And yeah, she had her own solo shot on day 12, but notice you can't see the tree or the presents that are the background for almost all of the other photos. It'd be super easy for her to pose in the right outfit in front of a white backdrop. Kendall Jenner wasn't actually there, and I will argue this to my death.
2. None of the fathers, other than Kanye West, are present in the shot.
This was a more obvious detail, but we still need to talk about it more. I get why Scott Disick wouldn't be in the shoot — he and Kourtney are long done. He is the father of her babies, but they've made it clear they aren't on best terms lately. So it makes sense he wouldn't be in this shoot. But Rob Kardashian, where you at?! He is one of the Kardashians! Not a boyfriend, not a husband, but a brother!
Seeing as he has opted out of appearing on the family's show for a while now and has been keeping a low profile ever since his legal battle with Blac Chyna over the summer, it also makes sense that Rob wouldn't be present in the shoot. But baby Dream is a dream in these photos. Also, since Khloé Kardashian hadn't confirmed her pregnancy by the time most of these photos came out, it tracks that Tristan Thompson isn't in any of these photos. He also could have been busy playing the sports ball. And Younes Bendjima was never going to be in it. Kourtney wouldn't even confirm their relationship to their family until, like, last week, so.
3. They're all looking at something... but it's not clear what.
Yes, I'm using the Christmas Eve photo as an example again. And I will use it one more time before this article is done, so get ready. Why are half of the people in this photo looking off into the distance? Were they laughing at someone off camera? Did a bird fly in? Did Kanye walk in unexpectedly? Did Rob walk in unexpectedly and everyone was nervously smiling at him trying to be like, "Hahahaha sh*t, Rob found out about the shoot. Everyone act natural! Except you, Kendall, since you're not really here." I have questions!
4. Where is Reign Disick in the day 24 photo?
Hi, yes, the Christmas Eve photo is back and problematic as ever. And when I say problematic, I mean it's actually a gorgeous photo like all of the others, but I just have some questions for the good of the order. The main one for this point is: Where the hell is Reign Disick? Is he running off into the distance and that's where Kris Jenner, Grandma MJ, North West, Penelope Disick, and Kourtney Kardashian are staring at? He's the only kiddo not included in this photo. What if he grows up sad that they posted this Christmas Eve photo without him?! Also, Mason Disick does not look like he's having a great time in some of these photos, but kids will be kids and photo shoots are stressful. I don't say this from experience. I'm just an assuming plebe.
5. Mary Jo is the real star.
Nothing else to say about this one other than I respect a queen who just sits and enjoys herself while everyone else poses. Grandma MJ for life.