Dating someone new can simultaneously be the most exciting and terrifying thing on the planet. Your relationship can be going swimmingly one minute, and the next they're leaving you on read and unfollowing you on Instagram. This lack of honest communication from a crush can be super frustrating, especially if they never even really told you why they were pulling away to begin with. It sucks, but dating behaviors that mean they're losing interest are easy to spot if your gut is telling you something's not quite right.
This ambiguity makes dating so much harder to navigate. You can sense something is off, but they aren't vocalizing how they’re feeling. Are they really slipping away, or are you just "paranoid"? The truth may end up hurting, but sometimes knowing the facts can be better than getting stuck in relationship limbo. So how do you know what they’re really feeling about you if they aren't talking, and you're not ready to ask?
According to Trina Leckie, a breakup coach and host of the Breakup BOOST podcast, it's all about that paying attention to their behavior. "People show you through their actions how they feel about you. You know when you feel confident in the relationship versus feeling like the two of you are drifting apart," she tells Elite Daily. If you suspect the person you're dating is losing interest in you, here are the warning signs to be on the lookout for.
Changes in how often you communicate can be a bright red flag that your crush is losing interest, says Leckie. This is particularly true if you start hearing from them less and less. “When you first met, you were likely in constant contact, which is why you really feel the difference when it drops off,” she says. Leckie adds that the slowing cadence of communication could be benign if it only happens for short periods of time. “It could mean they are also just more focused on work and other things, but the concern comes in when it starts to become the new norm,” she explains.
When you like someone, naturally you want to spend time with them. But according to Leckie, if someone stops putting in the effort to make that time, “or perhaps isn't even making weekend plans with you anymore,” consider it a sign their feelings are changing.
Dating generally comes with learning everything there is to know about each other. But according to Demetrius Figueroa, founder of the blog A Mighty Love, if the person you're dating becomes less inquisitive about you, it's a sign they're probably losing interest. “They’ll stop asking about your day, likely because they’re bored hearing about it," Figueroa previously told Elite Daily. "They’ll stop asking you what’s new with you because they’ve lost all the excitement your answers used to bring them.”
Someone's texting style can be really telling of their true feelings, Julie Spira, online dating expert and author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships previously told Elite Daily. This is especially true if you feel a shift in the nature of their messages. “If you’ve been waking up to a good morning text message daily, a ‘sweet dreams’ text at night, and suddenly those messages come to a complete halt, it’s a clear message that the way they feel about you has already changed,” she explained.
The most telling sign the person you're dating is losing interest simply comes down to how enthusiastic they are to be with you and try new things. “Even the more exciting things you’d do together become rote," Figueroa said. "If you used to plan exciting weekly date nights at local hotspots and they just don’t seem into doing those sort of things anymore, that’s a sure sign that they’re becoming bored."
If you sense these behaviors, Erika Ettin, dating coach and founder of A Little Nudge, tells Elite Daily to trust your instincts. “Generally, your gut is correct. If you feel like someone is pulling back… then you are likely correct,” she says. “That doesn't make it any less frustrating, of course."
“I would recommend, as difficult as it may seem, bringing it up to your partner," she says, and suggests using language like, "Am I sensing something weird with you lately?" or "I noticed that our texting has pulled back. Is there something on your mind?"
"Once you've opened up the conversation, then it's time for them to share," says Ettin. "And if they can't, yet the behavior continues, then you have to decide what's right for you."
If you decide that ending things is the best course of action for you, hang in there and be proud of the fact that you took the necessary steps to take care of yourself. You deserve to date someone who can give you the communication you need, period.
Experts cited:
Erika Ettin dating coach and founder of A Little Nudge.
Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the Breakup BOOST podcast.
Julie Spira, online dating expert and author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships
Demetrius Figueroa, founder of the blog A Mighty Love.
