The Super Bowl is this Sunday in Minneapolis. If projections are right, it'll be 11 degrees. Super Bowl LII has invaded your city, reminding you that roman numerals are hard and, more importantly, that Patriots fans Eagles fans are the worst. (Sorry, Boston, I love you, but winning that often makes us obnoxious.) To add insult to injury, your beloved Vikings came really close to making it to LII with home-field advantage. Nothing about your situation is pleasant and I'm sorry. Honestly, you deserve to get laid, which is why coming up with date ideas during the Super Bowl in the Twin Cities was the least I could do as a Patriots fan. (you can @ me, it's fine).
Before you decide on a bar, you need to decide who you are going to root for this nightmare of a Super Bowl. Everyone hates the Patriots, but they do tend to win (knock on wood) and hey, Pats fans didn't throw beer at you or create a expletive-laden banner taunting an adorable 99-year-old Vikings fan named Millie. (P.S. I LOVE YOU, MILLIE!) Or you could root for the Eagles, because I get it, Patriots fatigue is real everywhere but New England. Either way, you don't want to interact with the wrong fans at the wrong bar this already tragic Sunday.
You might be tempted to stay home and sit shiva, but you deserve to indulge your Super Bowl grief outside of your home. When I'm sad, I insist on eating dishes where cheese is not just a topping but instead the main ingredient. I also like to drink beers and hang out with people I love. If you can muster the energy to go on a date this Super Bowl Sunday, here are five Minneapolis-St. Paul date ideas for you and someone you vike very much.
1. Head To Surly Bowl 52 At HopCat
Because, Minnesota, this bowl is indeed a surly one for you. Why not take a date to check out Infatuation recommended Surly Brewing Company's takeover of 52 beer taps at HopCat in downtown Minneapolis? Self-described as "the largest tap takeover in Twin Cities history," the event starts January 28 and wraps up on Super Bowl Sunday. From rare pours to new variations, one thing seems clear: there will be beer.
2. Grab Burgers At The Happy Gnome
While you may not be happy this season, the gnome has you covered. The name of this bar makes me incredibly happy, so maybe actually eating there will allow you to crack a smile. The Happy Gnome is in St. Paul, so you'll be across the river from all the chaos that will be inevitable when Patriots and Eagles fans descend upon the same city together. Burgers are an excellent comfort food, and "going out for burgers" on a date always makes me feel like it's the 1950s again.
3. Go Off The Grid At Volstead's Emporium
Taking a date to Minneapolis' favorite speakeasy means you'll be able to tune out all the noise and focus on your adorable date on that random Sunday in February that is not at all important, but just another day, you know? Plus, you and your date will have your own game to play as you try to find this hidden spot. Apparently, in order to enter you need to look for a door with a red light in a back alley at Lake & Lyndale. It's right behind a cowboy themed bar, according to Yelp. Giddy up!
4. Eat At The Bachelor Farmer
Most people won't be indulging in nice dinners at non-sports bars in the Twin Cities come February 4, 2018. So why not take advantage of your desire to avoid the Super Bowl and head to a romantic and delicious dinner at The Bachelor Farmer? I haven't been, but my most trusted restaurant guide, The Infatuation, recommends it highly for special occasions, so forget LII and reclaim this day as "Millie's Day" with a delicious dinner.
5. Visit The Walker
If you really want to give the NFL the middle finger, head to the world class Walker Art Center, a museum I've been dying to check out forever. If your date is a disgruntled Vikings fan as well, they'll appreciate this alternative activity. True, the center closes at 5 PM, so you'll have to acknowledge the game at some point, but you can still make it for beers at HopCat to take the edge off.
Minnesota, I feel your pain this Super Bowl. Losing sucks, and Eagles fans suck even more, so I hope you can find a great date to invite on one of the above adventures, the way the Vikings invited Millie to the playoffs.
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