4 Texting Signals That Hint Your Relationship Is Getting Boring, So Don't Be Afraid To Switch Things Up
Even in the most secure relationships, it’s easy for things to feel stale after a while. When two people fall into a familiar pattern together, they might start adopting all the same habits and daily routines. And while this is great for your relationship stability, it can lack excitement and fun. The texting signals that your relationship is getting boring reveal when it might be time to change things up.
Boring relationships aren’t always a bad thing — in fact, they show that you’re truly committed to the life you’ve built together. But they don’t exactly make you feel fireworks or butterflies. According to Michelle McSweeney, a linguist and researcher who studies the way couples communicate digitally, you can look at your text conversations with your partner to figure out when your relationship might be in need of some extra spice. “There are a lot of different signs that your relationship is getting boring for the other party or yourself,” she explains. And if you know how to spot those signs, you can start making moves to incorporate more novelty into your romance. Even the most stable, routine relationships can be exciting if you make an effort to keep things fresh.
Look out for the following signs that you might be falling into boring territory with your partner.
1. You’ve noticed a change in your text interactions.
Maybe your partner used to text you the same emoji all the time, or send you an update about how their day was going. But lately, this practice has stopped. “They used to text, ‘Good morning, sunshine’ every single day, but there hasn't been a text before noon in a week,” McSweeney explains. “Though these things are individually very small, they break the norms of the relationship.” Odds are, if you were used to that morning text message, you’ll miss it when your partner stops sending it each day.
2. Your texting becomes more formal over time.
In a healthy relationship, McSweeney says texting should get more nuanced and relaxed over time. “When texting starts looking like more formal writing, it's a big red flag that the spark is gone,” she notes. Thankfully, there’s an easy fix for this. “If you just aren't feeling it, try to remember (or scroll back to) your earlier conversations — a technique that can help you remember that early feeling in a relationship,” McSweeney suggests. Your texting should feel easy and natural, so to loosen things up, try sending silly, casual texts that feel authentic to you.
3. There has been literally no change in your texting patterns.
On the flip side of noticing a change in your interactions, you might actually realize that nothing at all has changed since you started dating. “[If] you send almost the same messages, at the same time every day, you may have gotten into a rut,” McSweeney explains. “A great way to get out of it is to say the same thing in a different way. If you regularly send heart emojis, trade it for a GIF.” Try breaking out of your normal pattern, and see if it inspires you both to have new conversations over text and in person.
You can also change things up by texting about your shared memories. “Try inviting a conversation about something very specific to you as a couple,” McSweeney suggests. “Reference a past date or something you did together.” If you can reminisce about things that make you happy, you’ll feel moved to create new memories that will add the fun back into your relationship.
4. You’re just never in the mood to send flirty texts.
“If you just aren't feeling inspired to write cute, playful, or otherwise romantic messages anymore, it might be worth considering your own feelings,” McSweeney says. Are you tired of the relationship and ready for something totally new, or are you feeling distracted by other things you have on your plate? If other life stresses are keeping you from enjoying your relationship, McSweeney suggests working through those feelings to try to put your love back at the forefront. “It may be worthwhile to try to separate how you feel about the relationship from how you are feeling about other things, and scroll back through [old texts] to rekindle the feeling for yourself,” she says. Remember the things about this relationship that bring you joy, and try to channel that energy into a fresh perspective.
With love and attention, even the most routine relationships can be made exciting again. It’s worth noting that if you feel stuck in your relationship, you have every right to end it and seek out a love that brings you joy and fulfillment. But if you want to bring more fun back into your current partnership, work with your boo to change up your texting patterns a bit. With a few little adjustments, you can feel that rush of adrenaline when you see a text bubble from your partner pop up on your phone.