Let's be honest: Dating can be really tough. It's sometimes almost impossible to know what another person is thinking, and even when someone tells you how they feel, there might still be ambiguity. I've certainly dated people and had no idea that they weren't looking for a relationship until months in. If you've been in a similar situation, you may look back and wonder if you missed the signs someone's not interested in a relationship with you. It's not your fault this has happened, and these signs can often be unclear or non-existent. You don't need to blame yourself for missing any clues, but it can be helpful to learn some of the more common signs, so I spoke to an expert to get the deets for you.
Sometimes people change their minds or don't know what they want. I've slept with people casually who were so clear from the beginning that they didn't want a relationship, but then later decided they wanted one. I've also gone on first dates where the guy brought up taking a weekend trip right away and then ghosted me. It can be really hard to read clues about relationships, and you have no reason to feel guilty about missing them. Additionally, these signs don't necessarily mean someone is definitely disinterested in a relationship. Still, it might be important to keep yourself informed about what trends suggest someone isn't looking to seriously date.
Read on to find four major signs that someone might not be interested in a relationship with you.
1. Lack Of Response
One clue that someone isn't looking for a relationship may an unwillingness or inability to respond. But how do you measure this? "They don’t respond to your texts, emails, or calls," Relationship and etiquette expert April Masini tells Elite Daily. "If someone is not interested in you, they’re not going to spend their energy responding to your attempts to communicate." If you feel like the person you're seeing isn't responding, it could be their communication style, but it could also be their lack of interest in a relationship, so it might be helpful to talk to them to find out for sure.
2. They Only Want To Hang Out Late At Night
The time of day that someone wants to meet with you could indicate how they feel about a relationship. "Without any other communication or get-togethers during the day or early evening, they may just have a desire for a late-night, old-fashioned booty call," Masini says. "If someone only contacts you late at night, chances are the relationship is just about the casual hookup, and not a lot else." It's helpful to consider each of your schedules — there could be multiple reasons for what time of day they want to hang out. Still, it could be useful to understand why they're contacting you at certain times, and to ask if this signals a lack of interest in getting serious.
3. The Hangouts Are Irregular
If you don't have regular plans to meet up but instead see them infrequently, that could indicate that they're not looking for a relationship. "If someone dates you — and even sleeps with you — but they don’t try to see you regularly, it could be because they’re not really interested in a relationship with you," Masini says. "They see you because they’re free and you’re free, but they don’t go out of their way to make sure to see you on a regular basis." Everyone is different, and someone might be going through a particularly busy time in their life. However, if someone doesn't make regular plans to hang out, it could be worthwhile having a conversation about what you're both looking for.
4. Lack Of Introduction To Friends And Family
Introducing you to friends can be a sign that someone wants a relationship with you. Similarly, if someone goes out of their way not to have you meet their crew, that can also be a bad sign. "If they don’t ever introduce you to family and friends, it could be because you’re a casual hookup," Masini says. "When you don’t get invited to holiday work parties or family weddings, but they keep wanting to sleep with you — it could be because they might not think of you as something serious." Not everyone is comfortable introducing a new person to their circle of friends right away, so you don't have to worry if it hasn't been very long. However, it could be useful to consider whether it seems like the other person is committing to keeping you in their life.
These four signs may provide some insight into what the person you're seeing is looking for. But they're only hints, and only you know the exact circumstances of your situation, so don't panic if one of these rings true. However, it may be worthwhile to keep these in mind if you're seeing someone, and you feel like you're on different pages. Above all else, try communicating with the person you're seeing about your intentions. And no matter what, even if this person isn't looking for the same thing as you, remember that you'll find someone else who is!