The cutie you've been eyeing at your go-to coffee shop finally asked you for your number. You go, you baddie you. But after exchanging a few friendly texts, you can't tell if they're actually flirting. One second it's winky faces and fire emojis, the next it's radio silence. Luckily, relationship experts say there are
signals you can spot from texting that someone's flirting to take note of, if you really want to know how best to respond. Good news: They're not that difficult to pinpoint.
But before we dive into all the signals
this cutie is undoubtedly flirting with you, it's important to note that if they're coming onto you and you're not having it, you shouldn't be afraid to let them know. "If you don't feel the same way after receiving a flirtatious text, respond, but more in a quick, generic tone," cyber-dating expert Julie Spira tells Elite Daily. Simply let the person know that you're flattered, but not interested and you wish them the best. "It's miraculous how well clear and direct communication works, if you actually use it," Damona Hoffman, host of The Dates & Mates podcast, tells Elite Daily.
If, on the other hand, you
are here for their possible flirting, but you just want to make sure it is actually what it seems, here are four foolproof ways to figure it out. 01
They compliment you regularly.
One of the most obvious signs someone is
flirting with you is if they're complimenting you on the reg. It could be as straight forward as, "Wow, you have a gorgeous smile," to something a tad more subtle like, "Good morning, beautiful!" followed by emojis, of course. "When you’re being flirted with, they’ll typically be consistent in sending their text messages, such as every morning and every night," Spira explains. "You might receive a text that says, 'Thinking of you, and I hope the day is as gorgeous as your smile.'" 02
They use lots of emojis.
Sure, you and your friends may exchange every emoji from the eggplant to the crown on a daily basis, but when someone uses them in
a flirty text, it could actually mean they're trying to amplify their message. "They are mood modifiers that tell you how to interpret texts," Hoffman explains. "For example, if they say something that sounds direct, and then add a winky face emoji, they are kidding with you (which is one of the oldest forms of flirting.) If they send anything with a kissy face emoji, that is a sure sign of a flirt." Fran Greene, licensed clinical social worker and author of The Secret Rules of Flirting , agrees with Hoffman. "Emojis are definitely a signal to anything that feels loving, romantic," she tells Elite Daily. "[They're] just ways to show that somebody is interested in you." 03
Your text messages back and forth are like GIF-mania.
Up there with emojis, GIFs can also directly point to flirting, Hoffman says. They may seem silly, but if you think about it, there's a GIF out there for
literally everything you may be feeling or thinking. "[They're] some of the best ways to flirt with someone because you can be so specific in your search, and they capture the emotion, without saying the words," Greene explains. So, instead of brushing off the next GIF you get from a possible romantic interest as unimportant, keep in mind that it may actually be a sign they're capital-F Flirting. 04
Your conversation flows easily.
When you're first starting to get to know someone via text, you may think that if they're
not replying right away, they're not interested, but that's not necessarily always the case. "Even though we live in a world that everything is instantaneous, the texts don’t have to come back instantaneously," Greene says. The more important thing about your texts is that the conversation flows, which can be a clear-cut signal that the person you're texting is flirting with you. "There's a very nice flow, and you never feel that you are waiting, and hoping, and wishing, and they say what they mean and they do what they say," Greene elaborates.
While this signal may be one of the more difficult ones to spot because it's not usually as direct as compliments, emojis, and GIFs, it can be the most telling. "There's no question in your mind that this person has some interest, and they are equally interested in who you are," Greene continues. Another signal to keep an eye out for? Random texts about something they know you like, like an upcoming exhibit or art show, and an invitation to attend together.
So, they're flirting with you, and you're totally into it. Now, what?
If you notice these four signals in your texts, and you want to make sure they know you feel the same way, there are a few things you can do to move things along. "Make sure to respond back quickly, and mirror their texts with similar emoticons to give them the digital nod that it’s OK to keep the flirty texts coming your way," Spira advises.
Hoffman agrees, and goes a step further. "Drive toward a date," she recommends. "Rather than getting stuck in what I call 'The Texting Trap,' say something like, 'I'll tell you all about that when I see you in person.'"
If they're picking up what you're putting down, you'll be on a date in no time. Try not to over-analyze too much and just respond in a way that feels natural. Most of all, try to enjoy the fun that comes with getting to know someone new. This might be the start of something great, so take a deep breath, be yourself, and stay positive. You never know where this stage might lead.