4 Red Flags Before The First Date That You Should Be Looking Out For

By
Ad failed to load

The anticipation leading up to a first date can be pretty intense, especially when it's with someone you see definite relationship potential in. But before you get your hopes up, don't waste your time with a total scrub. Keep your antennas high and don't ignore some pretty big red flags before the first date that might signal this person won't be the best first date of your life.

Maya Angelou, one of the wisest women to ever walk the face of the Earth, wasn't playin' when she said some of her most famous words of wisdom: "When people show you who they are, believe them." Truer words have never been spoken. y'all. Of course, there is a limited amount of information you can truly know about a person without meeting them in real life, but even so, sometimes, being aware of some behavioral red flags can save you a lot of trouble down the line.

The ability to connect with a virtually endless amount of like-minded singles is an amazing thing that would be pretty much impossible without dating apps. There are so, so many fish in the sea at your disposal, which means there's pretty much no reason you need to tolerate any pre-first-date sketchiness. If an upcoming date is displaying some of the following behaviors, you may want to rethink whether or not they truly are worth the time.

Ad failed to load

1. They're Awful About Communicating

Giphy

Texting habits say a lot. If their messaging habits lack consistently, and they often dip out of conversations without a closer, or they straight up don't respond to you, then this is a sign that their interest level may be lower than it should be. It's totally possible that this person is just a bad texter, or that meeting in the flesh could change that, but it might not.

Ad failed to load

"When someone doesn’t respond in a timely manner, and disappears during the text layer of the relationship, they create a lot of anxiety and hurt feelings," relationship and etiquette expert April Masini, of Relationship Advice Forum, told Elite Daily. And at start dating, this is the opposite of how someone who's genuinely interested in you should be acting.

2. Their Texts Are Overtly Sexual

Giphy
Ad failed to load

I will never understand why some people think it's totally OK to send lewd messages before you've even met them. Don't get me wrong: It's exciting to have the opportunity to have some sexy fun with someone new, but a pretty surefire way of ensuring that doesn't happen is to send texts that make someone uncomfortable very early on. It's pretty safe to assume anyone sending explicit messages before you've met has probably only has one thing on their mind, and it's probably not going to be building a genuine connection with you.

3. They've Flaked Out On Plans Before

Giphy
Ad failed to load

"No matter how busy someone is, [they'll] make time for you if [they] really want to see you," relationship expert James Preece told Elite Daily. Few things are as irredeemable as consistent flakiness. I get it. We've all been the one to bail on plans, but think about the times that you did, when you didn't actually have a valid excuse. It was probably because — as difficult as it can be to admit — those plans weren't something you really cared about or were looking forward to all that much.

Sh*t happens, though. Sometimes, things really do come up. But these true emergencies are usually few and far between. A good rule of thumb is, if they've flaked once before, but made an effort to immediately reschedule, and you're really vibe-ing via text, then a second chance might not be the worst thing. But if they've flaked more than once, then it's a no-go.

4. Your Online Snooping Raises Some Questions

Giphy
Ad failed to load

Look, just about everyone snoops before a first date, typically in the form of social media creeping and/or some hearty googling to get a better idea of what you're in for. It should go without saying that if anything remotely questionable comes up, it's time to seriously reconsider if going out with them is a good idea.

I straight up googled a dude I connected with on a dating app, whom I was so into, and I kid you not, it turns out, he was going through a pending police investigation for disorderly conduct. However, some further snooping uncovered that the reason for his run-in with the law was actually activism for a cause I happened to be super passionate about as well. Honestly, I was actually pretty impressed by his fearlessness, so I went through with the date. But my point is, it's never a bad idea to google, google, and google again.

If you're dating around and don't mind hooking up with a person who might end up being a dud, then it's probably OK to give them the benefit of the doubt. But if you want a relationship, then keep your eye out for these red flags, and don't allow yourself to get jerked around.

Ad failed to load

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!

Ad failed to load

Must Reads

The Travel Accessory You Need This Summer, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Leaving behind your hometown and exploring the great beyond is one of the most important things you'll ever do in your lifetime. It breaks the monotony of your daily routine, pushes you out of your comfort zone, and forces you to appreciate a world c…
By Roya Backlund

6 Commitment-Free Ways To Change Up Your Look After A Breakup, If You Feel Like It

I'm married and not breaking up (I just had to clarify before I get a call from my husband wondering what's going on). However, if for some reason we ever did separate (again, not happening!), I've imagined I'd have this Eat, Pray, Love moment where …
By Stephanie Montes

Here's Everything That's Leaving Netflix In June

Summer is here, and with it comes plenty of opportunity to binge watch more movies and TV shows that we never knew we needed in our lives. May has passed by in a blink of an eye, so I definitely need to catch up on what Netflix is getting rid of afte…
By Kristen Perrone

Cherry Print Is One Of Summer's Biggest Fashion Trends & It's So Much Sweeter Than Florals

If there's one thing that I've had my eye on this summer it's a cool, flirty cherry-print dress. Along with versatile black tops and blue denim, the color red has become a staple in my wardrobe this year and anytime I can infuse it into my daily look…
By Ariana Marsh

13 Must-Have Experiences You Should Buy In Your 20s, Instead Of A New Couch

Life is one big experience. When you hit your 20s, though, you start getting pulled in the direction of your responsibilities. It isn't totally a bad thing, but you don't want to get so wrapped into adulting that you forget life's zest. Amazing exper…
By Jasmine Vaughn-Hall

I Tried Kim Kardashian's Weird Beauty Obsession & I Can't Stop Taking Selfies

You've been there before: You're scrolling through your Instagram feed when you see your favorite celeb post about their favorite new product — a face serum, vitamins that will make your skin brighter, or a specialty food service. You can't help but …
By Stephanie Montes

Where You Should Vacation This Summer, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Summer is so much more than just sweating in 90 degree weather and enjoying a long, lazy break from school (if you're lucky enough to still be in school). It's a time for making exciting new plans, falling madly and hopelessly in love, opening your m…
By Roya Backlund

Wander or Bust: The Amalfi Coast May Just Be The Most Beautiful Thing You'll Ever See

Wander or Bust is an Elite Daily travel series that follows young women all over the globe to record their journeys as they experience the thrill of the far-flung and unknown. They'll track their budgets, where they stay, where they eat and drink, a…
By Kaylin Pound

6 Brutally Honest Phases Of Life After A Breakup, Because You Will Survive 

If you've ever been through a bad breakup, you know that the struggle is real. For the weeks (or possibly months, if it was a really bad one) that follow, life can be rough, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Don't believe me? Just l…
By Rachel Shatto

Here's How You Can Find Out What Your Aura Color Is

Do you remember that movie Almost Famous? More specifically, the scene where William is trying to have a phone call with his mom, but a clairvoyant Band-Aid keeps shouting "Your aura is purple!" in his face? Well, that was the first time I had ever h…
By Roya Backlund

9 Women In Their 20s Reflect On The Advice They Wish They Had At Graduation

Graduating college can feel seriously scary. You've spent your entire life in school, working and preparing for the moment you enter the real world, but what happens when you get there? What if things don't go totally according to plan? You may have …
By Brittney Morgan

3 Early Signs You Are Going To Have Undeniable Chemistry With Your Crush

I don't know if there's anything better than the excitement of having a new crush — especially when that feeling's reciprocated. The butterflies that rush through your stomach as soon as they enter a room. The electricity that zips through your veins…
By Genevieve Wheeler

Emoji Pool Floats Are Here To Match Every Mood You’re In This Summer

Searching for the perfect poolside accessory to lounge around in this summer? This year’s hottest warm weather water trend isn’t a big floppy hat or designer sunglasses — it’s an emoji pool float. That’s right: Your favorite little digital expression…
By Rachel Murphy

Here's How Your Mood & Your Favorite Music Are Secretly Connected, According To Science

If you're someone who's likely to be found with ear buds in her ears at all times, you might not realize just how often you listen to music, or the ways in which it's really affecting you. From your morning commute to the tunes you blast while you co…
By Caroline Burke

This Is How Long It Takes For A Partner To Really Trust You, According To Experts

Trust is easily one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship, but typically, it's not something that's fully there from the start because it takes some time to build. How long it takes for a partner to trust you is a question that doesn'…
By Tayi Sanusi

7 Things You Forgot To Thank Your High School Friends For & Should ASAP

Friends are a dime a dozen, but a solid, genuine group of girlfriends can be difficult to come by. When you find your tribe, you need to stick with them until the end. For some lucky people, your high school friends have been your besties since day o…
By Rachel Chapman

These 3 Zodiac Signs Will Have The Best Week, So Bask In The Glory

It's officially the second week of May, and the warmth of spring has finally arrived. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and the bright weather is allowing everyone to finally break out their favorite pair of shorts. If you think the gorgeou…
By Roya Backlund

7 Men Reveal What Attracted Them To Their Last Crush & They'll Make You Swoon

He reminded me of Nate Archibald from Gossip Girl. That's legitimately what I found appealing about my most recent crush. Sorry, but it doesn't get any deeper than that. In other instances though, when I'm not trying to live out my lustful, adolescen…
By Sydnee Lyons

A Relationship Expert Reveals His Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide

"Long-distance relationships are extremely relaxing and easy to navigate," said no one in a long-distance relationship ever. Whether you are bicoastal babes or a quick two-hour train ride apart, distance makes the heart grow fonder, but it also makes…
By Kimmy Foskett
)}