In case you haven't heard, couples do some pretty sick sh*t. While we all know that part of the wooing process is remaining on your absolute best behavior, once you're past the initial burst associated with the honeymoon phase, there's a pretty good chance that things will get a bit more down and dirty. And if you've yet to do any of the gross things people in love do, then I'm sorry, but it's probably not love —at least not yet. While I'm sure some of you are already getting grossed out (chill), if someone claims to love you but isn't willing to bend you over their knee and pop that pimple in the depths of your butt crack that, despite your best efforts, you simply can't reach, then what's the point?
And while a case can certainly be made for the unspoken rule of pretending gross couple habits aren't a real thing, having someone out there that loves you enough to look past the fact that there is a huge hair sprouting a tree out of your back mole is something to treasure. Love is blind, yo, and here are four pretty gross things you have probably done with or for the one you love, that in their own way, are v cute.
1. Using Spit As An All-Purpose Grooming Product
Sometimes, a dry thumb simply isn't enough to remove that crusty blob of pasta sauce in the corner of their mouth, or to smooth that stubborn cowlick. So what do you do? You spit on it! There are few things that a little saliva can't solve, and while this would be totally gross if you both weren't seeing hearts, grooming each other and making sure your bae is looking their best is actually kind of sweet. And I mean... monkeys do it, so you know it's legit.
2. Making Out With Morning Breath
I know, I know —this is sure to incite some controversy. Morning breath is totally gross... but, so is garlic breath. And the rules of garlic breath have taught us that anyone with garlic breath is probably semi-immune to the smell of someone else's garlic breath. You feel me? Plus, when you love someone you pretty much never want to stop making out with them, and that's pretty cute.
3. Wearing Each Other's Dirty Clothes
He loves the feel of your oversized hoodie and you love the smell of his slightly musty t-shirts. It's a win/win. Half the fun of having a partner is being able to cozy up in something that smells just like them. And even if it's a little funky, it's OK because you love them and all their bodily secretions. Well, within reason, of course.
4. Cuddling When One Of You Is Sick
Despite the never-ending stream of snot running down your nose, the only thing you want is to be cuddled and nursed back to health. And even though you both know that being in close proximity to one another is bound to spread the sickness, knowing that your bae doesn't really care is super sweet.
Love is real, y'all, and it makes us do some pretty gross things that, in the moment, seem like the most natural thing in the world. And maybe that's the best part —knowing that even when you're not in peak form, your bae is a ride-or-die. So the next time one of your single friends comments on your sappy anniversary post on the 'gram, you can kindly let them know that they have only just scratched the surface of the repulsive depths of your love for one another.
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