In today's fast-paced courtship climate, dating around has become the norm for singles who are eager to mingle. There's no denying that casually dating multiple people simultaneously can be fun for some people, but if you start to suspect someone you really like might be keeping their options open, it's normal to feel a bit deflated. Learning how to spot the dating behaviors that mean someone's seeing other people can be one of the best ways to avoid falling for someone who might not be interested in dating exclusively.
According to prominent LA-based couples' therapist Dr. Gary Brown, in some cases, dating other people can signal that someone's interest level isn't high enough to give a relationship the momentum it needs. "Dating other people may indeed be a sign that they're not interested in you, and that's OK," Dr. Brown tells Elite Daily. "It may hurt to come to this realization, [but it's] better to know sooner than later." On the other hand, some people may continue dating others as a safeguard until they know what your interest level is, explains Dr. Brown. Either way, knowing where you stand with someone is an important aspect of communication. If you're not sure if they're still seeing other people, the following signs could indicate that they are still on the prowl.
It can be surprisingly tricky to tell the difference between a date who's giving you their undivided attention by keeping their phone out of sight, or someone who wants to avoid receiving calls or texts from another romantic interest. If you notice they get anxious when their phone rings or keep it facedown all the time, this could be a red flag, says Dr. Brown.
If you aren't going on dates regularly, Dr. Brown says this is a significant sign there could be other people they're meeting up with. Even if you're open to keeping things casual, it's never a bad idea to have a talk and make sure you're both on the same page. But whatever you do, remaining calm and nonaccusatory is key. "Don't be angry and don't criticize," says Dr. Brown. "Simply ask them if they're seeing other people, and if so, ask [if] they're going to continue doing that, or if they want to pursue something more with you."
Not bringing you around their family and friends is another sign they may be keeping their romantic options open. Although it can be tempting to keep quiet about your suspicions, Dr. Brown recommends speaking up. "You really shouldn't be sitting on painful feels when you suspect that they are dating others," he says. "You need to be kind and courageous and have 'the talk'."
When someone is invested in you, it's common for them to talk about what a potential future together might look like. However, if they avoid talking about a future that includes you, this may also be a warning sign they may have other romantic prospects, says Dr. Brown. If you want something serious, then it may be a good idea to start a dialogue.
"If you really like them, you need to let them know and see where the chips land," says Dr. Brown. "It's better to know early on, instead of getting in deep emotionally, only to have your hopes dashed if they don't feel the same way." Even though it might be hurtful to know that someone you're really into might be dating around, as long as you aren't in a relationship that's been defined as monogamous, it's technically OK for them to live the single life. If you want commitment, it may be time to find out whether they're open to the idea.
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