Sneaking around isn't easy — but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Whether it's nosy neighbors or snooping family members, keeping folks from creeping up in your business can be crucial. Luckily, that's why these products for shady people are so flippin' genius, since they're designed to conceal virtually anything and keep others always guessing about your next move.
Maybe you're traveling to another country and you just want a way to hide your cash and valuables from pickpockets. Perhaps you're browsing online and you want to make sure no one's monitoring your activity. No matter what you're up to, there are plenty of products available on Amazon that can help you feel like a secret stealth ninja and no one will ever be the wiser.
Sick of people invading your privacy and desperate for a few tools that'll help cover your tracks? The items featured here are a terrific way to kickstart things since they can deliver a vital layer of security. From diversion safes to webcam covers and everything in between, these products are shady AF — but they'll keep you from ever getting found out, too.
Because honestly, who doesn't want to be a little shady every once in a while?
1. The Actual Official C.I.A. Manual Of Trickery And Deception
This is not a novel — it really is the once-top-secret training manual for CIA field agents. It was written by John Mulholland, a famous magician who was hired by the CIA to write manuals on sleight of hand and covert communication techniques to help deployed agents fight back against the Communists during the 1950s. After having been thought to be lost forever — possibly destroyed along with other top-secret documents — this manual was rediscovered and released to the public by retired CIA official Bob Wallace and historian H. Keith Melton. Peter Earnest, Executive Director of the International Spy Museum called this book “an enchanting account of espionage and wizardry."
2. An Undercover Wallet That'll Keep Your Cash Totally Secure
Traveling abroad means sometimes having to take extra steps in order to safeguard your personal and most private belongings. This silky bra stash is a must-have for that reason. It snaps over a bra strap and can deliver that close-to-body security you need so you can have fun while you're out — without having to worry about whether or not your cards or cash are going to get stolen. Another benefit? It's made from natural silk that features a moisture-resistant lining.
3. A Screen Protector That Keeps Everything On The D.L.
Tired of stressing over whether or not people are reading over your shoulder? The great thing about this iPhone XS protector is that it keeps everything you're viewing as discreet as can be. Made out of extremely hard material and technically tougher than a knife, this protector is dust- and fingerprint-proof, plus it doesn't bubble when you're trying to put it down. "Great for my phone! The protection is well covered and comfortable to work with."
4. This Multi-Tool Clip That's Like Having A Whole Toolbox On Your Head
It doesn't get any more covert than this mini multi-tool clip. Although it's technically a hair clip, it also functions as a bottle opener, screwdriver, box cutter, scraper, and serrated knife. In short, it's like having a utility drawer worth of vital tools that you need within quick reach. "It has a bit of a super-spy feel and is a fun gift for anyone with enough hair for a ponytail," one reviewer wrote.
5. This Little Security Key That'll Connect Right To Your Laptop
If you're concerned about two-factor authentication, this security key is a must-have. It safeguards your private information and delivers super-strong levels of authentication to Twitter, Facebook, Gmail, and other sites. It's portable, universally compatible with most operating systems, and also fits most computer ports. "This key is small enough to go unnoticed on my keyring, and I like that it folds to protect the USB connector," says an internet engineer. "I'm glad that I bought it."
6. An Ultra-Tiny Hidden Container For Storing Small Discs
Trying to keep your photos, documents, and other sensitive materials secure and far from snooping eyes? These little coins are the best way to keep small microSD cards safe and under close watch. This opens up to reveal an interior compartment and screws back in place safely. Available in five different denominations, this one is really clever.
7. A Hide-A-Key That's So Clever, You Might Even Forget What It Really Is
Slipping under the radar never looked so easy as it will with this hide-a-key decoration, which actually looks (and feels) just like a fake rock. Designed to fit most keys up to 1-inch wide and under 3 inches in length, this ones hides in plain sight. It's made with molded poly-resin and is sized to match a rock in shape, texture, color, and size. You can even keep this outside for most of the year, since it's wind-proof and weather-proof. One reviewer writes: "Looks just like a real rock and camouflages really easily. Even feels real. Could it be real? Ok now I'm just blowing my own mind."
8. This Paddle Brush With A Little Surprise Inside
This secret flask is hands down of the most clever picks if you're looking for a stealthy way to sneak booze or another type of beverage undetected. That's because it functions as a paddle brush and comes with a mirror on the back, so you can also style and brush your hair with ease. This flask also holds more than 6 ounces, so it's plenty to get the party fully started.
9. A Diversion Box In The One Place No One Will Ever Think To Look
Keep your most precious possessions on total and utter lockdown with this box. On the surface, it looks like a regular old dictionary, and that's part of its genius. In truth, this is a diversion safe and comes with a lock and key, so your most important valuables will stay secure no matter where you go. This has enough room for cash, credit cards, and other essential documents.
10. This Security Cable That'll Keep Your Laptop Safe AF
If you're someone who works from their laptop regularly and especially does so out of coffee shops, this combination security lock cable can offer a lot of peace of mind. It fits most laptops, and all you have to do is attach the lock to an opening that most computers have on the side. Then, loop it through the end of that cable with something that'll stay in place, like the table itself. One reviewer raved: "This cable lock is easy to use and set up with a four-digit combination of your choice – opening and locking your laptop is very simple, just be sure to secure it to something stationary so a thief can’t walk off with your laptop!"
11. These Thermal Insulated Curtains For When You Literally Need Some More Shade
These thick blackout curtains can be super-helpful if you're trying to literally be shady AF. That's because they're made with thick, triple-weave polyester to block out up to 99 percent of light and UV rays. Designed to be wrinkle-free and easy to fit on standard curtain rods, these curtains can help conserve energy, especially during the winter months. One reviewer wrote: "We have east-facing windows and the sun heats up our house in the afternoon/evening. These have been excellent for keeping our dining room dark and cool!"
12. A Privacy Screen So Your Personal Information Stays Protected
Need the most privacy possible when you're working from your laptop? This screen is compatible with virtually any 12.5-inch laptop, including Dell, Apple, and other devices. It features layers of thick film that black out screens at certain angles. This protector is also glare- and scratch-resistant, and reduces UV radiation by up to 96 percent.
13. A Cute Scarf That You Can Use To Smuggle In Booze Anywhere
You know you're shady AF when this infinity scarf immediately seems like a must-buy. At first glance, this looks just like an ordinary scarf and comes in a variety of cute patterns. Take a closer look, and you'll see that it comes with a zipper closure — and is actually built to hold up to 8 ounces of any beverage and comes with a collapsible rubber funnel. Not only that, but you can actually drink from it using a built-in scarf-bite valve.
14. A Puzzle Box That You Can Put Surprises In
Giving a gift to someone — but want to make them really work for it this time around? You can with this wooden box, which forces folks to crack a puzzle in order to open it up completely. You can slide your coins and bills through the slots here, but others have to figure out how to open it if they want the gift within. "Because my son, who is in his 30's, only wanted cash for Christmas, I decided I had to make it a little challenging. This was perfect! He got kind of frustrated and would set it down then try again in a bit and did so until he finally got to the treasure inside!"
15. This Camera Pen That'll Make You Feel Like A Secret Agent
Basically, this pen camera is exactly what you think it is. It can take high-definition videos and has a storage capacity of 32 GB, as well as a long-lasting battery. Of course, please know the law before you start filming — and let people know when you're filming them.
16. A Weird But Genius Earbud That's So Discreet, No One Will Ever Know You've Got It
Listen to music wherever you go and be able to do it discreetly with this teeny-tiny earbud. Use it to connect to your smartphone, listen to music, or even play an audiobook or podcast. Since this is shaped to fit your ear snugly, you can use it throughout the day if needed — and it won't irritate sensitive ears the way some cheap plastic buds can. While only one earbud is included in this purchase, reviewers say one is all you need since it packs a pretty big punch.
17. A Pack Of Flasks That Look Just Like Tampons (No, Seriously)
This is truly some next-level shadiness, but if you're headed to an event where booze isn't allowed or comes at a steep price, you'll be grateful you had these. These mini flasks look just like ordinary tampons on the outside, but once examined, they contain tubes that can hold up to a 1-ounce of liquid. They're also reusable, so you can definitely get your money's worth. Worried they might leak and ruin your purse or backpack? Reviewers swear they don't.
18. A Programmable Cabinet Lock To Keep Things Totally Secure
This hidden magnetic lock is great if you're trying to secure a cabinet and keep it off limits to anyone who might want to sneak a peek at your personal documents. All you have to do is program the RFID keys before installing it, and you'll have an off-limits drawer for all your important paperwork. This works best when used inside a drawer or cabinet — and reviewers say it's really simple to install yourself.
19. A Multi-Purpose Tactical Tool That Can Pass For An Ordinary Pen
Whether you need to open a bottle or break through glass, this multitool pen is a great investment. It has five functionalities, and can be used to unscrew something, hold a SIM card, open up a bottle, break glass, or even just write a quick note. "Five safety survival features in one! Gives me more piece of mind if in any case I might be forced to use these," wrote one reviewer.
20. A Simple But Secure Wall-Mounted Safe That Looks Like An Outlet
This genius safe looks just like a wall outlet, making it the perfect place to stash valuables in your home. It has a 7- by 2.5-inch interior compartment and comes will everything you need to mount it to your wall.
21. A Set Of Invisible Earplugs You Can Take Anywhere
Wearing earplugs to a show can make a major difference on your overall health, especially if you attend shows regularly. These soft earplugs are made from comfy material, but that's not all to love about them. They're also invisible, so you can rock them discreetly for hours at a time. Since they also come with an aluminum case, they're easy to store and can help protect against wax build-up, too.
22. This Heavy-Duty Safe For When You Mean Real Business
Some lock boxes are made to throw off would-be snoops. Others, like this personal safe from Master Lock, are just heavy-duty safes that'll keep your most valuable possessions and documents super secure. With more than 1,700 positive reviews on Amazon, this small waterproof safe is a terrific choice to secure sensitive items and materials. It can be fixed to an object using a cable and you can set your own four-digit combination to the safe so no matter what, no one is getting in unless you want them to.
23. These Invisible Pens For When You Need To Jot Down A Secret Message
These super-cute pens are a fun way to leave secret messages — no matter your age. Each set comes with four, and they contain invisible ink: but the pens themselves have a blacklight, so once you shine them on your writing, you can see the messages written. Reviewers say they've used them for black light parties, wedding RSVPs, classroom projects, board games, and other fun occasions. "Great spy pens," wrote one user. "Very easy to use the lights worked great."
24. A Webcam Cover To Keep Other Sneaks From Snooping
Webcam hacking might seem implausible — but unfortunately, it's not. This three-pack of covers slide in place and come with an annular groove design, so they stay securely in place. Compatible with most laptops and tablets, this cover is made with ultra-thin material and installs easily in place, so the only time your webcam will catch you doing something is if you want it to. "Fantastic webcam cover. It's so small! I've tried a couple different ones, they're usually a bit bigger, kind of flimsy/cheap, and eventually break or get bent etc.," wrote one reviewer.
25. These Oversized Bracelets That Double As Super-Secret Flasks
Whether you're headed to a party or you just want to sneak a few sips here and there, these bracelet flasks are seriously some of the most innovative (and sneaky AF things) around. They're made from 304 stainless steel, which is really resilient, and come with inner funnels so you can pour drinks into them with ease. One reviewer raved: "It is absolutely AMAZING!!! I wore this and it brought booze everywhere I go!"
26. A Handbag That Makes It Easy To Take Wine With You Wherever You Go
Planning a big trip and need a way to transport wine safely and discreetly? This insulated wine tote — which comes with a convenient spout — can carry up to 3 liters of wine, (a.k.a. four standard-sized bottles of wine) and is the best way to ensure you've got all the vino you need to relax and enjoy your night. Reviewers also say it works great for —and it's incredibly stylish (and discreet) to wear without suspicion.
27. This Mini Diversion Safe That Passes For Real Chapstick
28. A Set Of Panties That Make Traveling So Much Easier
These travel pocket panties are perfect for anyone who loves a little function in everything they purchase: They have a roomy pocket that's big enough to store your valuables. From cash to a passport to other important documents, they're great for travel. "My mother made me wear a money belt on my first trip abroad and I hated it," wrote one reviewer. "Now, 40 years later I found the perfect substitute. Your money and passport are always comfortably with you and so easy to access. I can even sleep safely with my money with these cool panties."
29. A Way To Go Under Cover (Literally) On A Big Flight Or Trip
Big trips can be hard, especially when you desperately feel like you need to get a little shut-eye. This travel pillow can help you feel like you're pulling down the shades and giving yourself plenty of cover. In addition to the cozy hood, the pillow is made from memory foam, so it molds to fit your shape and can give you the extra comfort and support you need to rest.
30. A Book Of Life Skills That You Should Probably Not Know How To Do
From beating a lie detector test to making moonshine, this book teaches you basic life skills that maybe you shouldn't know. As one reviewer puts it: "Fun read but you should probably think 2 or 3 times before trying some of this stuff."
31. A Puzzle Set That Teaches You To Pick Locks
32. A Can Of Green Tea That Will Keep Your Valuable Safe In Plain Sight
33. A High-Tech Backpack With A Password Lock
Not only is this backpack equipped with a USB charging port and headset interface, it has a password lock to keep your electronic safe when they are in your bag. But this bag is not just impressive on the tech front, with an array of well-designed pockets, comfortable straps, and quality construction, it's also just a quality backpack at its core.
34. A Fingerprint Padlock For The Ultimate In Security
This state-of-the-art fingerprint padlock will make you feel like you're living in the year 3019. Powered by a 160mAh battery, it has a service life of three years and can be used for about three months on one charge. It supports multiple finger prints, so you can share it with your partner in crime (so to speak). Plus, it's also waterproof (IP65-rated) and dust-proof, so it can withstand inclement weather or quiet basements.
35. This Money Belt So You Can Keep Everything With You That You Need On A Run
On the run (literally) and need a way to keep your valuables secure while you do it? This travel money belt comes with four super-wide pockets that are roomy enough to fit everything you need, including money, keys, flasks, IDs, and more. Super-soft and made from moisture-wicking material that soaks up sweat, this belt isn't cumbersome to run with, either. In fact, reviewers say it's really comfy to wear, even during vigorous exercises.
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