There are an infinite number of ways to embrace your queer relationship — being out and proud is just one of them. If you're trying to find how to celebrate Pride if your partner's not out, start by thinking within the structure of your relationship as it already exists. Are you the kind of couple who likes to go out and about and be in public? Or are you more of the homebody types? Are large events fun for you? Or do they give one or both of you social anxiety? Do you like hanging out with groups of people, or do you prefer when it's just the two of you?
There's no single way to go about being in any kind of relationship, and queer relationship dynamics are often unconventional from the start. You don't have to change anything about what you are already doing with your partner to make space for Pride celebrations. You can find your own way to acknowledge the history and significance of the month while honoring your and your partner's emotions and separate paths.
And while being out and proud is an intentional choice, it's a gift to be able to honor someone's journey towards making that decision for themselves. Maybe these private Pride celebrations will bolster your partner's self-confidence and embolden them to be more open about who they love and how. Even if they don't, you can still have fun and grow closer in the meantime:
Traveling to queer-friendly cities can give you and your partner some much-needed perspective on your relationship and where you fit in to the global queer community. Plus, being in a place where nobody knows who you are and is likely to never see you again can offer the anonymity your partner might need right now to feel comfortably and unapologetically themselves. Berlin, Germany is revered in the LGBTQIA+ community for its queer nightlife and cultural scene, but if an international flight is out of your budget try hitting up a big city. New York, Los Angeles, or San Francisco can be life-changing and immensely refreshing for someone who has grown up in a small town.
Are you and your partner movie fanatics? There are plenty of movies about the queer experience that you can watch from the comfort of your home. Seeing queer lives represented on screen can be extremely cathartic and affirming and alleviate feelings of isolation or loneliness. If you're wondering where to start, check out this list of queer films on Netflix, Hulu and Amazon all representing a diverse range of queer experiences.
Knowing that you are a part of your own community, with your own family structure, can give you and the partner the confidence and comfort to be unapologetically yourselves the whole year round. Neither you nor your partner can be everything to one another. If your partner doesn't feel like they can be out and proud because of the family they come from, seek out the support of friends and queer elders to help the two of you begin to create the family you want for yourselves.
Many, many people within the queer community know what it is like to feel unsafe coming out of the closet, and can provide both of you with the support you might need. Whatever your partner might be going through, there is probably someone who has survived it before. Creating networks of safety and security are essential to knowing that none of us are in this alone. And becoming a part of the queer community can ensure that you remember to celebrate your relationship the whole year round. Your love isn't relegated to the single month of June.
