In an ideal world, your best friends and your bae would get along swimmingly. Regular double dates and group hangs are A Thing in your ultimate fantasy. But if you've tried to plan hang-outs with your friends and your partner, and it never feels right, you might be wondering whether or not your friends even like your partner. Even more concerning is, why? Do they see something in them that you don't? This can be super disheartening. You're pumped about your relationship, and it sucks that your friends aren't integrating your partner into your group as seamlessly as you hoped. But if joint gatherings are a nightmare and the animosity is stressing you TF out, it might be time to take action.
I talked to Dr. Andrea Bonior, a licensed clinical psychologist, about how to approach an emotional tug-of-war like this one. If you can't quite put your finger on what's "off" between your friends and your partner, here are three cues that pretty much prove the tension is not just in your head, and suggestions on how you can — fingers crossed — smooth out the kinks of this icky situation. (Because no one should have to pick between their friends and their partner.)