One of the worst feelings in the world is to be in a new relationship, happy as a clam, and then realize your friends don't like your boyfriend. That's not to say you have to listen to every single concern your friends have. Sometimes, they just don't like that they don't get to see you as much. Sometimes, they don't like that they are still single. In those cases, you aren't required to sit by and listen to your friends' tirades against your partner when you don't want to.
In certain circumstances, however, you may want to give your friends' opinions a listen if they express serious concerns about your partner. Often, they see things we can't always see when we're blinded by love. And often, our best friends will be the ones who are truly looking out for our best interests.
Here are six times you should really pay attention to your friends when they say they don't like your partner:
1. When They Say Your Partner Ignores Your Wishes
When we're in a new relationship and everything is swimming along seemingly perfect, it can slip by us that we're doing everything our partner wants when they're not doing anything for us. If you've been to see your partner's favorite band four times in a row, or you go to hang out with your partner and their friends every week, you could just be continuously telling yourself that this is what things are like when they are new and fresh, and that you'll have time for your other stuff later.
Friends, though, will likely see beyond this new-love haze and notice that your partner completely ignores your wishes. Whether it's wanting to go to a birthday party that they just can't seem to make time for or something smaller, like you asking them to pick up some milk for you and they don't do it, friends can often see more clearly than we do in these situations. So if your friends are worried that your partner ignores your wishes, you may want to pay attention to them.
2. When They Think You Fight Too Much
It's true there's no real "normal" amount of fighting to be had in a relationship. Some couples don't fight at all, and they're fine, and some couples fight every day, and they're fine.
That said, if your friends have been noticing that you and your partner seem to fight constantly, you might want to pay attention to their concerns. They're likely bringing them up because you seem more stressed out than usual.
If you and your partner feel just fine with the amount of fighting in your relationship, that's cool, but it's still worth a listen to friends who know you better and might be noticing that this relationship really isn't the best fit.
3. When They've Caught Your Partner Being Dishonest
This is a big red flag. If your friends have caught your partner cheating or lying in any way, listen to them.
Although it is possible to have friends (or should I say "frenemies") who are so jealous of your relationship, they'll make things up, this is rare. It's more likely your friends really do love and care about you and just want to see you happy.
If any of your friends have told you outright that they saw or heard your partner lying about something significant, pay attention. You might not be seeing it now, especially in the throes of infatuation, but your friends are probably just looking out for you.
Plus, a partner who is dishonest is not going to change their ways, and you'll likely be in for more headache and heartbreak in the long run.
4. When They Notice Your Partner Being Mean To You
If you're partner is being openly mean to you, this is another huge red flag that your friends will probably notice before you do. Most of us wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone who was consistently mean to us, but early on in a relationship, it's easy to dismiss our partner's meanness as a bad mood, stress, or even just a joke.
Our friends, though, don't have the emotional love googles that we do, and they'll see this behavior for what it is: hurtful and possibly even the start of something more dangerous.
If your friends have mentioned to you that they think your partner is just a mean person, it's important that you listen. You'll likely be glad you did.
5. When They Think Your Partner Takes Advantage Of You
If your friends see you spending money on your partner and doing other lavish things for your partner without your partner returning the favor, they'll probably worry you're being taken advantage of.
Maybe they're only seeing one side of the story, and everything is fine. You could easily be infatuated with your partner and feeling like you are just happy doing things for them. If that's the case, that's fine, but there still should be some give and take between you and your partner. Chance are, though, if your friends have raised the alarm, they are seeing something you might not be.
6. When They Say Your Partner Is Unsupportive
If you go to every work event, sporting event, and support every dream of your partner's and they don't do the same for you, your friends will probably notice this and point it out.
It's nice to be a loving, caring partner, but it should go both ways. If you are supporting everything your partner does and they don't do the same for you, your relationship is likely unsustainable, as you will end up not feeling emotionally fulfilled eventually.
So if your friends don't think your partner is supportive of you, pay attention. This could be a red flag for a cold relationship in the future.
We're not obligated to listen to our friends all the time, especially when they don't like our partners, but there are certain moments in which we should really listen to what they're saying. If your friends are pointing out any of the serious things on this list, they could be seeing something you aren't. Better to listen now.
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