If you're not orgasming during sex, it could be because of the positions you're using with your partner. There are certain techniques that can make it more likely for a woman to finish during sex, as well as specific sex positions for easier orgasms. "We all vary in how much stimulation we require to reach orgasm and how often we can cross the finish line," says Courtney Cleman, sex and relationship coach and co-founder of the V. Club, a space for women to learn about love, relationships, and wellness free of judgment. "Some people are simply more orgasmic than others. That said, everyone should be able to reach orgasm regularly, it's just that for some people it could be every day and for others a few times per week."
If you're having trouble orgasming during sex, the first step is to explore your body, both on your own and with a partner. Cleman says that a lack of understanding of their bodies is one of the most common reasons why women don't orgasm during sex. It's also ideal to have healthy self-esteem and a positive attitude toward sex in order to prevent psychological blocks and reach orgasm as often as your body will allow, according to Cleman.
"If you have been 'practicing' and trying new things but are still unable to reach orgasm, then it would be advisable to speak to a doctor or sex therapist," she adds. "Just make sure not to compare your orgasmic ability to your partner's or anyone else — it will only add pressure and create more anxiety for you during sex, making reaching orgasm even more difficult." If you're still in the practice stage, though, here are three orgasm-inducing sex moves you can try with your partner, recommended by a sexpert.
"Cowgirl (or reverse cowgirl) is an excellent position for achieving orgasm because it gives women full control of movement and penetration," says Cleman. If you're not familiar or you need a quick refresher, the cowgirl position, also called woman-on-top, is simply when a woman sits upright and straddles her partner, who is usually lying down. She is in charge of setting the speed and tempo, while the penetrating partner can move their hips with hers to help deepen the sensation and intensify pleasure.
Another position Cleman recommends that works well for reaching orgasm is what she calls the "hot spot." The name comes from the fact that it's a great way to achieve strong g-spot stimulation during intercourse, she explains. In this position, "the woman is lying on her back with her legs up in the air," says Cleman. "[Her partner] is upright, kneeling between her legs. She raises her bottom off the floor or bed a little, to allow for penetration, and crosses her legs so her feet are leaning on one of the penetrating partner's shoulders. Then she moves up and down which allows her to control the range of motion."
"Overall, keeping your legs together or crossing one leg over the other can make any position feel more orgasmic," says Cleman. A third position you can try that keeps your legs together is closed missionary, which is as easy as it sounds. The woman lies on her back with her legs mostly closed, and the penetrating partner gets on top (just like in standard missionary), with their legs on the outside of hers. This angle can provide a lot of clitoral stimulation, although there is less of an opportunity for super deep thrusts.
If you're struggling to achieve orgasm during sex, you might want to consider switching up your usual moves. These three positions are ideal for reaching climax, so why not take them for a spin the next time you're in the mood?
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