Every relationship has its own unique dynamic, and what makes one person feel loved by a partner might send another one running for the hills. Protectiveness is a perfect example of how subjective romance can be. While some swoon when their SO does something to safeguard or stand up for them, highly independent individuals may scoff at the mere idea of it. That’s why it’s helpful to know the Myers-Briggs personality types that are most protective of their partners.
Before we get into which types fit the bill, it’s crucial to clarify that there’s a big difference between being protective and possessive. A partner who takes your needs into account and who makes sure you actually want their help before taking action, is being protective. Alternatively, a possessive partner will make decisions without any regard to your wishes or boundaries out of a desire to control you. Possessiveness tends to stem from trust issues, insecurities, and a need for control. Ultimately, the key difference is this: A certain degree of protectiveness is totally fine in a relationship, while possessiveness can never be a part of a healthy relationship at any level.
All that said, it can be helpful to have a sidekick to aid in fighting your battles. That’s not to say you aren’t self-sufficient, or capable of protecting yourself — but it certainly is nice to know that your SO is looking out for your best interests. If your ideal bae is the kind who will help keep you out of harm’s way, look no further than these ultra-protective personality types.
Passionate, competitive, and convincing — The Entrepreneur has precisely the kind of personality you’d hope for if you’re ever in a scenario where you could use some safeguarding. Basically, they can charm their way out of almost any situation with their fast-talking charisma. ESTPs are also hyper-perceptive, so they have a knack for recognizing when you really do need help (but perhaps can’t say it, because you’re too proud).
The ESTP doesn’t shy away from conflict — in fact, they thrive in circumstances where they can put out fires with their direct style of communication and sharp improvisation skills. No matter what problem you’re struggling with, the ESTP is always down to swoop in and shield you from any sort of disaster.
Don’t expect the ESTP to shower you with verbal affirmations of love. Since the ESTP tends to show their feelings through acts of love, they excel in scenarios where they can protect your well-being.
There are several qualities that make an ESTJ stand out from the rest in terms of relationships: They’re confident, pragmatic, and loyal AF. And because of all of those traits, they have a tendency to stand up for what they feel is right. That means if their boo is ever wronged in any way, they’ll never hesitate to swoop in like a total hero.
The Executive is nothing if not dependable when it comes to their obligations, and once The Executive has committed to someone, they’re dedicated to that person 100%. They can be a bit aggressive and strong-willed in nature, so it makes sense why they might err on the side of protective in their romantic relationships. If their SO is being attacked in any way, they likely won’t think twice before fiercely defending their loved one.
The bottom line is this: ESTJs are known for having immense integrity and a strong sense of responsibility, so they view protecting their partner as a personal duty — not a choice.
There’s good reason why this type’s nickname is “The Defender.” The ISFJ is super loyal, reliable, nurturing and steadfast in showing their love. They always want to make sure that their SO feels safe and cared for.
In general, ISFJs are protective of all their loved ones, including family, friends, and especially romantic partners. They’re so devoted that they also have a tendency to put their partner’s needs before their own. While they’re always motivated to defend their SO when necessary, it’s worth noting that the ISFJ is a peace-keeper at heart. And since they value harmony, they will likely protect their partner in such a way that squashes or avoids conflict, as opposed to potentially exacerbating it.
Not only is the ISFJ is an incredibly helpful and devoted partner, but they’re also highly sensitive and in tune with their other half’s needs. That means they may be able to identify when you want them to go to bat without you even saying a word.