Nerves are a true mood-killer. If you've gone on a first date, you've probably felt a decent amount of pre-date jitters and then have had nervous energy on the date itself. There's a degree of relief post-date, simply because it's over! Afterwards, it's normal to replay the date in your mind, unpack the conversation, and analyze every detail. This analysis can stir up nerves or anxiety again, but don't stress. Instead of spiraling about one awkward moment or a joke that didn't land, repeat these mantras for feeling calm after a first date.
Of course, it's important to feel calm before a date, too. There's a lot of pressure associated with first dates, and sometimes you might have to really psych yourself up ahead of time. Personally, I usually have the mental debate with myself about whether or not it's worth putting on pants and venturing out into the cold, dark world for a first date, when I could easily stay cozy, happy, and pants-free at home. But the debate usually ends when I remind myself that my soul mate is probably not just going to break into my apartment — so, off to the date I go. Then afterwards, I usually reflect on the date and try to figure out what I want to happen next.
These mantras will help you focus on what's really important, and help you to not get distracted by obsessing about every little detail.
Even if a first date doesn't give you anxiety or nerves, putting yourself out there can still be one of the scariest things ever. So, if you went on a first date and made small talk, shared some things about yourself, and lived to tell the tale — then you are brave! If your date went well or went meh, you still went out on a limb to connect with a stranger and you should give yourself a major pat on the back for that. Bravo, honey.
This is important to remind yourself of because so much of dating is putting emphasis on what someone else thinks of you. Does my date like me? Do they think I'm pretty/funny/sexy? Reminding yourself that you are amazing could help you shift perspective from thinking about what they thought of you to focusing on what you're looking for in a partner. You're amazing, you already know that, but sometimes we all could use a little reminder.
A first date is a drop in your romantic life experience bucket. (Which is a thing, right?) Reminding yourself to keep perspective and look at the big picture can help keep you from obsessing over tiny details, or over-analyzing the conversation. None of those things are really helpful anyway. If you view this first date as a small part of your life experiences, it will remind you that you've got a big life full of amazing things and that your happiness doesn't hinge on this one date.
Hopefully these mantras will help you reset your mindset and your energy when you're experiencing post-date nerves. However, if you're extremely anxious or agitated after a date, that could be an indication that there was something about your date that made you feel unsettled or unsafe, and maybe you shouldn't see that person again. Regardless, remember that you are brave, you are a queen, and you can see the big picture — and the big picture looks pretty great.
