To quote Spring Breakers, "Sprang break, sprang break, sprang break, forever." That's the dream, right? Hopefully, though, you're not about to rob a convenience store with your three best friends so you can afford what turned out to be a highly-overrated spring break trip to Florida. If you're looking for a little ~danger~ like Selena Gomez and Ashley Benson were in the movie, I recommend these dirty texts to send over spring break instead.
They're risky but not spend-a-night-in-jail-and-get-bailed-out-by-a-drug-dealer risky, you know? Plus, these texts won't cost you as much as an actual vacation would and you'd probably have just as much fun. Anything I can do from the comfort of my sofa with my TV remote loosely in the other hand is an activity I am 100 percent up for.
Dream up the perfect spring break scenario and text your crush every sweaty detail. I'm fairly certain this is what your creative writing professor meant when she said to practice every day. So where are you going this spring break? Well, it's like Alien says...
1. I can't afford to go to Hawaii for spring break but I hope I still get lei'd.
2. I've never been skinny-dipping but I'm down to try something new with you.
3. I've been laying out in the sun all day. Want to see my tan lines?
4. I'm really good at volleyball. Are you bringing any beach balls along on our trip?
5. Wow, it's so hot out. I could really go for a popsicle right now... if you know what I mean.
6. The only thing hotter than the sun today is you.
7. How about a staycation? Because I'd love to stay indoors with you.
8. Can you come over and help me apply my tanning oil? It's so slippery, I can't get a good grip.
9. I've been kissed by the sun but I'd rather be kissed by you.
10. Spring break is the perfect excuse to do something fun and I choose you.
11. Can I interest you in a couple body shots? On me, of course.
12. Let's go sunbathing like they do in Europe.
13. The doggy paddle is cute but you know what else dogs do that we should try?
14. How about we make our own slip 'n slide?
15. Is that your snorkel gear or are you just happy to see me?
16. The only thing holding this bikini together is a tiny knot. Wanna undo it?
17. Your lips look sunburned. You really should get them wet.
18. Just like the sun, I go down every night.
19. Here's hoping the sun's not the only thing that rises in the morning.
20. We don't need to be in the ocean to make waves.
21. Hey Sailor, can I captain your ship?
22. My body is on fire from being out in the sun all day. Come cool me down?
23. Me, you, and a kayak for two?
24. Why go to the beach to get hot and sticky when we can do that at home?
25. Let me be one of the bad decisions you make this spring break.
If all else fails, you can always go with the unimaginative truth like, "Hey you, hooking up with me is just like spring break. Sounds like a good idea but it’ll be over way too quickly and you’ll probably regret it for years to come." But seriously, where's the fun in that? Turn up the heat in your dorm room, pour yourself a tall glass of something cold (like frosé), and text your cares away.
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