When it’s cold outside, you feel it in your bones. And the best way to get the chill out may just be, well, boning. (Oof, that's a bad one, but I just couldn't resist.) That's why winter is the best time of year to have a steady hookup buddy — someone you can text at any time and get some, like a booty-call Postmates. While a simple "you up?" or "heyy" usually does the trick in the warmer months, you may actually need some creative dirty texts to send your hookup buddy when coming through means braving a blizzard. Think enticing, maybe a little raunchy, and, most importantly, funny, because after all, humor is the best aphrodisiac. Yes, even in dad-joke form.
So maybe you're thinking that winter punning isn't one of your many talents. Well, don’t worry, folks, because I've got you covered. That way, the next time the temperature drops and you realize you're craving a little horizontal happy hour with your fave regular D or V, consider dropping them one of these hot texts. Trust me, if they weren't already feeling warm for your form (in the pants region), these texts are sure to get them going — or at least laughing.
1. "Hey, you! Wanna come over and make a snow angel with me?❄️👼" (And make sure to link them this.)
2. "I have a deal for you: Bring me a hot toddy, and I'll let you see this hot body.☕😜"
3. "Yo, I may not be a meteorologist, but I predict I am going to get 7 inches tonight.❄️❄️❄️"
4. "The temperature may be dropping outside, but thanks to you, it's rising in my pants🌡️. Get over here!"
5. "It's too cold to go outside. Want to come over and hiber-MATE instead?"
6. "Winter has come, and now, it's my turn, if you know what I'm sayin'. 😜 "
7. "Get over here so we can do something wintery, like playing with your snowballs."
8. "Want to try my favorite winter sex position tonight? It's called '🐶 -sled doggy style.'"
9. "Baby, you must be a cold front, because you are giving me chills."
10. "If you hurry up and come over, the wind won't be the only thing that's blowing tonight. 😘 "
11. "It's freezing, and I feel like an icicle... so why don't you come here and make me melt."
12. "Thinking of you right now is making me more slippery than black ice."
13. "There's a blizzard coming, so what do you say we stay inside and see how many inches we can accumulate in your pants. 😜 "
14. "Baby, you've got me feeling like the city streets in January right now, because I really need to get plowed. ❄️ "
15. "What exactly is it going to take to get your warm winter mitts on my cold, lonely, winter tits?"
16. "Your ears are looking really cold — wanna borrow my legs for a scarf?"
17. "Hey, you, I have a riddle for you... what do I have in common with a snowflake? I am beautiful, one of a kind, and one touch from you leaves me wet. 💦 💦 💦 "
18. "Wanna role play tonight? Here's what I'm thinking: You can be the snowman, and I'll be the snow blower."
19. "It may be snowing outside, but there's about to be a warm front in my bed tonight. 😘 "
20. "I want you so badly; I guess you could say you got me pining... get it? PINE-ing🌲🌲🌲...? Oh, shut up and get over here."
Send any of these, and there ain’t no kind of weather that will keep your hookup from showing up at your front door to keep you warm all night.
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