There was a time when getting a text from your ex was the best feeling ever, but after a breakup all that contact can feel like salt in the wound of your broken heart. Not to mention the fact that it can add to your confusion during an already disconcerting time. That's why some experts say one of the best ways to clear your mind and move on after a relationship ends is to go no-contact by using texts to tell your ex you don’t want to talk, at least for a while.
But what does going no-contact mean? It's a total shutdown in communication between you and them, as Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the breakup BOOST podcast, previously told Elite Daily. "No calling, texting, emailing, or checking their social media," she says, because by keeping them both out of sight and mind, you allow yourself the space to heal. "If you stay in contact or if you're always checking up on them, they'll constantly be top of mind. You need adequate time apart to regain control of your emotions and get clarity as to why the breakup had to happen." This way, you can really move on for good.
If you're not sure how to let your ex know you need a total communication break from them for a while, here's some inspiration about what to say over text.
1. “I think it's best if we take some space these next few months, so please don't text or call me for a while.”
2. “Speaking to you regularly is making it harder for me to move on, which is why I need to go no-contact for a while. I’ll reach out again when I'm ready to talk.”
3. “This breakup has been really painful for me and I need some time to heal. Let's take a break from communicating for at least a few months.”
4. “This is difficult for me to say, but I can't talk to you for a while. We both need some time to heal, so I would appreciate it if you don't contact me, at least for a few months."
5. “I’ve realized the only way we're going to be able to move on is if we take a no-contact break. So this is the last text I'll be sending, at least for the next few months.”
6. “While it's going to be hard not speaking to you, I think the best thing for us is just to go no-contact for a while.”
7. “I wish you all the best and hopefully, in the future, we can be friends, but for now it's just too painful and confusing to be in contact with you this way.”
8. “There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to be honest. I need a break from talking to you because it's making it very hard to move on. So please don't text me for at least a few months and I’ll do the same.”
9. “I think it's time we try going to no-contact for a while. It won't be easy, but I think it's the healthiest thing for both of us.”
10. “We can't keep talking like this if we're ever going to properly heal and move on. So for now please don't text me anymore.”
11. “I’m sorry but I can't do this anymore. For your sake and mine, it's time we take a break and go no-contact for a while.”
12. “We’ve been in each other's lives for [length of the relationship] so we've gotten into the habit of talking, but I don't think it's making it any easier to heal and move on. It's time to break that habit in order to give us the space to do that. So for now I’m going to stop texting you and I need you to do the same for me.”
13. “Hey, this is going to be the last text I send you for at least a few months. I want nothing but the best for you and I hope someday we can be cool again. But for now, I feel we should stop speaking completely.”
14. “Talking to you like this hurts my heart. I need a break. Please don't text me for at least a few months.”
15. “Texting like this is sending mixed signals, so I think it's best for both of us to break the habit and go no-contact for a while.”
Cutting off communication after a breakup can be really hard because it can feel final and like you're letting go. At the same time, it can help you get through that pain and to the other side of it more quickly since it gives you space to heal. If you're ready to take that step, then consider pulling off the band-aid and letting your ex know you won't be speaking to them at all, at least until you've had some time to get the distance and perspective you both need.
Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the Breakup BOOST podcast