Breakups happen. Whether we want them to or not, sometimes it's just time to move on. Maybe your breakup was a long time coming, or maybe your partner does one awful thing, and that makes you realize, in that moment, it's over. The final straw before breaking up can come out of nowhere, or it could be something that seems small that's been bugging you, and only once it happens enough times do you realize that it's actually a deal-breaker.
The final straw can happen at any point in a relationship, whether you've been together for a couple of months, or a couple of years. I know this sounds cynical, but I don't think there's ever a time in a relationship where a breakup isn't possible — yes, even after decades of marriage. The final straw that leads to breaking up can vary per person and per couple. It could be that you finally realize your partner doesn't make you a priority. Or maybe they try to control every aspect of your life, and that's definitely not OK. It's your life.
To see what other people felt were the final straws before breaking up with their partners, I turned to Reddit. This is what I found.
He wanted blow jobs/ hand jobs twice a day every day. I wanted to have a break for two days. He was very upset because "sex is a primal human need and being around me made him need sex" and "he couldn't change or control his actions." He finally called me and offered a compromise. The compromise is that I wouldn't come to his house unless I was willing to have sex with him. That way, I wouldn't make him unnecessarily horny and I wouldn't have to say no to him. I thought about it. It made sense so I agreed. However, he was floored when he realized that I was never coming back.
Her 6 week pregnancy. We'd not had sex in 10.
She slept with her ex because he told her that he didn't want to go to Afghanistan as a virgin. Then she told me to stop being a little bitch when I asked her why she thought that was okay.
I had a feeling he was cheating and I gave him the chance to own up to it, telling him that if he wanted to be dedicated to our relationship and work past it, we could, but he had to be honest.
He wasn't and I found the texts to confirm it the next morning.
We had dated for two years and were four months from moving in together.
I got in an open relationship, like we were f*cking on a regular basis while she had a boyfriend, basically I was her f*ck buddy (and before you ask, yes her boyfriend knew, he was into cuckolding). Now I started talking to other women, since if she was f*cking another guy I sure as hell wasn't going to be exclusive with her. She said she was fine with it, but she started becoming jealous, making passive aggressive remarks, commenting on other women, etc. The last straw was when she texted my best friend (an asexual woman) with my phone saying that I didn't want to talk to her anymore. My best friend called me to ask me about the text. I kicked that b*tch to the curb.
Our biggest fights were always about money, she came from a VERY well off family (multi-millionaires) and both of my parents are high school teachers.... So we had differing opinions on how to live.... When I landed my first job out of college it paid 40k and she asked me how I was planning on providing for a family on that kind of salary? I said with a wife who works as well haha thinking it was a dumb question since we had only dated a year and had no plans to get married anytime soon, she then said "I should of stayed with my ex he makes 80k now" and I said.... Okay we're done haha never looked back
When he told me he believes rape can be excused.
Rape, and then convincing me it was my fault because my pyjamas were "sexually provocative." It took me a few months but I finally got out.
She tried to finger me idly while watching Family Guy and when I told her to stop, she sat across the room angrily smoking resin. I apologized and rationally said "I don't like if you touch me while watching TV" and she surprisingly understood. That night, amidst sleeping, she started shouting in my face where I had to put my hands up in defense of the force of her rage. Only then I decided it's the last straw.
When my ex dropped me off at urgent care when i asked him to take me, then straight up left to hang out with his friend somewhere else.
I had a roller derby bout the night before, and woke up with my shoulder having sharp pains. I asked him to take me because i didn't know who else to call, then he dropped me off at urgent care to wait by myself for 3 hours while him and his friend went somewhere else. We were already not talking because of a previous fight the other day, but I at least expected him to wait with me. I realized then that he would always put his needs before mine and that would never change. Also he had no aspirations or life goals, so it was bound to happen eventually.
During my tour in Afghanistan, he called my mother to tell her that when I got back, I would have to leave the army and have his children... I was 19, he was 27... sh*t just got creepy too fast, and I was too busy dodging rockets to notice.
She wouldn't stand up for me. Gender stereotypes aside, if anyone hurt her or she needed help. I'd go way the f*ck out of my way to help her. But her friends woulvfddd openly insult me in front of her and she would just stand there. I tried to talk to her about it and she said she would handle it but never actually did, as the insults or backhanded comments kept coming.
After one month of dating and getting drunken texts every Friday demanding why I wouldn't do hardcore BDSM with him, just noped out and told him to f*ck off.
The final straw could be super obvious and in your face, or more discreet and develop over time. The sad truth is, some relationships have expiration dates. It's normal for them to come to an end, but honestly, it might be for the better. There could be something even more amazing waiting for you out there.
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