13 People Reveal The Compromises In Relationships They Never Wanted To Make, & Ugh, Rough
A relationship without compromise is very rare. In a perfect world, two people who want to be together wouldn't have to give up anything they like or want in order for the relationship to work. But the world isn't perfect, and compromises in relationships are almost always necessary and way more common than you think.
I'll be the first to say, I do not like giving up the things I want or enjoy for someone else. Can you blame me, though? I'm human, and as people, we tend to think of ourselves before anyone else. (Survival of the fittest and whatnot.) But what makes me feel better about compromising is knowing that we're meeting halfway. My partner and I may not get exactly what we want, but we get something just as good, with the added bonus of making each other happy.
While compromise is incredibly important in relationships, it's important not to confuse it with sacrifice. With compromise, both parties are conceding things that they want for the greater good of the relationship and meeting somewhere in the middle. Sacrifice, on the other hand, is when one person is completely giving up something; there is no middle ground.
Unfortunately, sometimes we have to compromise things we don't want to compromise on. And I don't mean passing on Gossip Girl when your SO wants to watch The Office. I mean big compromises, like where you live, what you do for a living, how you manage your money... your entire life, essentially. These compromises aren't fun, but sometimes, they're necessary, and people make them every day.
Moving Elsewhere (Or Staying Put)
I gave away nearly everything I owned and moved from Honolulu, HI to Sacramento, CA with just two suitcases, $800 and no job in hand. It was really terrifying in retrospect, it's hard to believe I did that.
Well my now SO decided not to go out of state to college to a school she really wanted to go to. She decided this about a week into us dating (when you know, you know).
I've given up on the idea of finishing my degree at the university I started at because the second he gets a job offer out of state/the country, we're out of here.
i follow him and his job. his job is much more specific, whereas mine is much more flexible. i feel kind of bummed by this because it means I can't just go anywhere I want to, I can't pursue some career avenues that might be location specific, such as I wanted to be a tech writer for Vogue sewing patterns. We decided that long distance is not really for either of us. in all honesty, I'm ok with this decision, but it is disappointing to know that certain things are blocked to me forever. it's like being told you can have pie but you can't have pie and ice cream, you know?
I moved an hour away from my family and friends when our son was born so he could have an easier commute to school. This time next year we will be moving 1000 miles away from everything I've ever known for his training. I'm excited for an adventure, but HOLY SH*T is it scary. I worry about something happening to my grandparents when I'm so far away and not being able to get home in time to say goodbye.
Altering Sleep Schedules
Sleep. We have very different work schedules, and I still want to hang out even if I have to stay up until 2am a couple nights a week.
No early bedtime cos I could happily go to bed at 9 (or 8.30...) but he could stay up till after midnight. But I love living with him so a bit of tired sometimes is worth it
Compromised on sex due to her being inexperienced.
I wish I had never let her bend my rules of my body
I can't do a romantic relationship without an intensive sex life.
I made an exception for a virgin. It turns out, the reason she was a virgin was low libido, too low to maintain a relationship with me.
We ended up hurting each other much worse than had I noped out of waiting for her to be ready.
Things People Compromised On For The People They Loved
I compromised by agreeing to never have children
It probably sounds a little more extreme than it is. I still want kids, but it's not something nerd (otherwise that would have been a deal breaker). I do however believe that at the very minimum, the meaning of life is to pass on your own genetic material and create more. She understands that, which is why she is ok with me donating to a few sperm banks. I don't regret the decision in the slightest.
As seen above, the level of compromise in every relationship varies. There is no right or wrong way to compromise in a relationship, but it's an important part of keeping both people happy and satisfied.
And if you too have made some compromises that you never wanted to make, remember that you're not alone. Next time, consider having a more detailed conversation with your partner about what you are (and aren't) willing to compromise on.
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