A relationship without compromise is very rare. In a perfect world, two people who want to be together wouldn't have to give up anything they like or want in order for the relationship to work. But the world isn't perfect, and compromises in relationships are almost always necessary and way more common than you think.
I'll be the first to say, I do not like giving up the things I want or enjoy for someone else. Can you blame me, though? I'm human, and as people, we tend to think of ourselves before anyone else. (Survival of the fittest and whatnot.) But what makes me feel better about compromising is knowing that we're meeting halfway. My partner and I may not get exactly what we want, but we get something just as good, with the added bonus of making each other happy.
While compromise is incredibly important in relationships, it's important not to confuse it with sacrifice. With compromise, both parties are conceding things that they want for the greater good of the relationship and meeting somewhere in the middle. Sacrifice, on the other hand, is when one person is completely giving up something; there is no middle ground.
Unfortunately, sometimes we have to compromise things we don't want to compromise on. And I don't mean passing on Gossip Girl when your SO wants to watch The Office. I mean big compromises, like where you live, what you do for a living, how you manage your money... your entire life, essentially. These compromises aren't fun, but sometimes, they're necessary, and people make them every day.
To get a further glimpse at the compromises people have made for their relationships that they really never wanted to make, I turned to Reddit. Here are some of the biggest ones I found.
Sleep. We have very different work schedules, and I still want to hang out even if I have to stay up until 2am a couple nights a week.
No early bedtime cos I could happily go to bed at 9 (or 8.30...) but he could stay up till after midnight. But I love living with him so a bit of tired sometimes is worth it
Compromised on sex due to her being inexperienced.
I wish I had never let her bend my rules of my body
I can't do a romantic relationship without an intensive sex life.
I made an exception for a virgin. It turns out, the reason she was a virgin was low libido, too low to maintain a relationship with me.
We ended up hurting each other much worse than had I noped out of waiting for her to be ready.
Her family is super religious. Well, her mother's side. I really have to fight to keep my mouth shut and not upset anyone, but I do it for her because I love her.
Going to church on sundays god damn I hate it
I stopped doing the sport that I loved most in the world because she hated the thought of me getting injured. There is a rick of injury involved in the sport.
Not current, but promised I would quit weed to my ex since she hated it. I was so young and naive...
I compromised by agreeing to never have children
It probably sounds a little more extreme than it is. I still want kids, but it's not something nerd (otherwise that would have been a deal breaker). I do however believe that at the very minimum, the meaning of life is to pass on your own genetic material and create more. She understands that, which is why she is ok with me donating to a few sperm banks. I don't regret the decision in the slightest.
As seen above, the level of compromise in every relationship varies. There is no right or wrong way to compromise in a relationship, but it's an important part of keeping both people happy and satisfied.
And if you too have made some compromises that you never wanted to make, remember that you're not alone. Next time, consider having a more detailed conversation with your partner about what you are (and aren't) willing to compromise on.
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