13 Dirty Texts To Send To Your Christian Grey After Watching 'Fifty Shades Freed'

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If you've been living under a rock since, oh I don't know, 2011, when the first book in E.L. James' BDSM-inspired Fifty Shades series was released, you probably didn't realize that the third and final movie adaption, Fifty Shades Freed, comes out this February. Like the first two movies, Fifty Shades Freed promises intense, sexual, on-screen chemistry between newlyweds Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, which means it's full of inspiration for dirty texts to send to the Mr. or Ms. Grey in your life.

In the movie, Christian and Anastasia spend their days jetting off to exotic locations at a moment's notice, purchasing expensive, countryside real estate, escaping criminals in high-speed car chases, and teasing each other with whips and nipple clamps in their sex dungeon. You know, like most newlyweds do. It's enough to arouse envy in even the most modest of gals (read: me) so I thought I'd recreate a little Fifty Shades erotica of my own.

Without the millionaire heartthrob of a husband or Anastasia's fancy new job as a fiction editor, I knew I'd have to improvise. To spice things up in my love life, I came up with a list of Fifty Shades-inspired sexts to send to my Christian Grey of the week. I mean, I don't have a sex dungeon or safe words or a contract ready but neither did Anastasia when she first got into all of this and look at her now. She's a gun-wielding bad*ss who tells Christian he should "learn to live with" her defiance. Ouch, but also yassss.

If, like me, you're determined to make your life feel like your very own steamy Hollywood blockbuster, consider sending one of these 13 dirty sexts to your partner after watching Fifty Shades Freed. Even if you're not into BDSM, it's still a fun and flirty way to heat things up in the bedroom — according to your own rules, of course.

When Your Roommates Have Finally Left The Apartment

"Mrs. Grey will see you now."

When You Want Your Usual

"Love me like you do."

When You're In The Mood For A Little Competition

"Let's play a game... I hope neither of us is a sore loser."

When You've Been Waiting All Day

"You really don't want to miss the climax so don't be late."

When You're Feeling Bossy

"Take me to the red room."

When You Include An Attachment

"I'm unashamed of my nakedness, are you?"

When You Know What You Want

"I want you to spank me."

When You Want Them To Clear Their Schedule

"I'm not ready to share you."

When You're A Visual Person

"How about a little show and tell?"

When You Forgot To Read The Contract

"I need you to show me what you want to do to me."

When You Need Them To Pick Up A Few Things On The Way Home

"Cable ties, masking tape, rope, no coveralls."

When You Only Have Eyes For Them

"My taste is very singular and right now I want you."

When You Want To Be In Control But You Know That No Means No

"Does the submissive consent to being blindfolded and gagged?"

If you'd like to incorporate more Fifty Shades into your sex life, you can always consult a beginner's guide to BDSM. Entertaining as the movie is, it doesn't exactly cover all there is to know about consent, discipline, and safety where submissive/dominant relationships are concerned. You and your partner should be clear about whether your creative sexts are just that — sexts — or if you'd like to come up with a safe word of your own the next time you see them.

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