I started dating a guy last year for a few months after being three years out of the dating game.
After waiting until the second date to have sex ('cause you know having sex on the first date is forbidden), we sealed the deal.
Our first time was normal. It was missionary, nothing too crazy and he even threw in a few moves. I was really anxious actually because I hadn't had sex in about 14 months. But it was like riding a bike... with a penis, obviously.
He would ask me questions like, "What are your fantasies?" and, "Do you like to be dominated in the bedroom?"
God, I didn't know. I never asked myself those questions before. I never had to.
I started thinking about the screenplay for "Fifty Shades of Grey" -- which, for me, was incredibly cringeworthy and unrealistic to watch -- and contemplated if I was gonna end up like Anastasia Steele.
After stumbling over my words and murmuring something like, "I'm not sure... I've never really thought about it," I asked him if he had any fantasies.
I won't go into too much detail, but one of them really stood out. He said to me, "I'd like it if you imagined you were blind and trying to find a lollipop."
I'll leave it at that.
I'm no prude or anything, but isn't this all a bit crazy? A bit fast? We only had sex for the first time last week and you already want to tie me up and pour hot wax on me?
And for someone who hadn't had sex in 14 months or done anything like this before, my head was spinning.
Was I supposed to tell him, "No, sorry, I'm not that into it" or go along with it? You know, try it out, face my fears -- after all, it could be enjoyable.
I'd been out of the dating/sex scene for so long, I thought surely this is what all the cool kids were doing these days.
I wasn't in university years anymore, so I assumed this is what "mature" people do in the bedroom. That adult sex was just like "Fifty Shades Darker."
So, when Christian Grey came knocking at my door, the first thing I did was consult my friends.
Some of them thought the sex stuff was slightly "out there," especially so early into our relationship, but others welcomed the idea.
They hadn't seen me date a guy in F O R E V E R, so most of them thought it was a good distraction for me.
I didn't want to come across as someone who wasn't willing to at least try some of this. If it's meant to pleasure both of us, then it's a win-win scenario.
I bit the bullet and eventually poured hot wax on the guy (more than once) and it's not something I'll rush back into doing, that's for sure.
The rest of the stuff we did I'll keep private, but the reality is crazy, bedroom dominatrix stuff just isn't for me.
I know a lot of people have weird sexual fantasies and fetishes, but I'm proud to say I don't and that's the honest truth.
I continued dating the Christian Grey guy for a few months, and the entire time I was EXHAUSTED 24/7 before it came to an end.
I've been single now for around 10 months and will continue being happily single for the foreseeable future.
Sorry "Fifty Shades Darker" fans. Sex like that isn't as hot as the movies.