I didn't enter my current relationship (aka my first ever real, bona fide relationship) until I was 23. And, to be quite honest, I had pretty much no idea what I was doing. Sure, I had some vague ideas about how to be a girlfriend, but I had no idea for what constitutes a lasting, wonderful relationship. Unfortunately for me, I had to figure everything out on my own. But, you my friend, won't have to whether the same fate! Why not? Because I come bearing
tips for having a good relationship, from ladies on Reddit's AskWomen who actually are in good relationships. It shouldn't be a secret, but it seems to be something a lot of people don't understand - communication. You HAVE to communicate. You just have to. That means talking about things that you'd rather not talk about. Yes, that means being vulnerable with another human being. If you don't, the relationship wont survive.
Never Stop Dating Each Other
Never stop dating. And by that I mean, treating your partner with near the same amount of affection and care as you did while you were courting them. The worst is when you get too comfortable and assume the person will always be there. You both get complacent and no longer feel the need to put in much effort in that department. You two start to become more like roommates and the romance fizzles.
Recommit Yourself To Your Partner Every Day
Recommit every day. Show your love for one another. Communicate effectively. Have fun together. Work on the relationship. Give one another their own space. Don’t expect to change one another drastically. Be honest. Respect each other. Be the best team you can be. The important one : never take each other or what you have for granted.
Know How To Fight Without Feeling Attacked
I feel like being able to fight or disagree, without feeling attacked is a huge thing that I took for granted prior to my last relationship.Another important one for me is feeling comfortable with that person regardless of what group you’re with. I had UNREAL amounts of anxiety introducing my ex boyfriend to people I knew because I was so scared he would do something that would make people hate him, or wonder why I was with him (spoiler alert: he usually did, and I shouldn’t have been with him).
Find Someone You're Compatible With
Compatibility.All the stuff about compromise, communication, showing your love, respect, certainly is easier if you're fundamentally compatible. Frankly, I think communication is overstated - you simply cannot "talk through" fundamental issues, yet too many couples try because we've collectively been led to believe that communication is key. And while it is important, being with someone who communicates and clicks with your needs, style, aptitudes makes things a billion times easier
Start Thinking "We" Instead Of "I"
Thinking in terms of "We" instead of "I".Having balance in the relationship and spending time together but also spending time apart to do other things and having your own independence.Respect, loyalty, compatibility in personality, a solid strong friendship bond, good communication and listening skills, making life easier for each one, each emotionally available and supportive of each other's goals, triumphs and setbacks. Each having their own "me" time, for hobbies, friends, etc.,
You And Your Partner Both Have To Understand Their Self-Worth
Both individuals need to have a good level of self-worth. All the communication in the world doesn't help if one partner hates themselves and then latches on to the other to fill their self-worth bucket.
Sharing The Same Sense Of Humor Is Key
Appreciation for who you're with. Once you start taking them for granted, that's when things can start to go downhill because you start to just expect that they're gonna keep doing things for you without it being acknowledged.
Make Sure You're Each Giving Your All
It’s not about giving 50/50. It’s about both of you giving 100%. It may not look the same for each person because where one person lacks another person may lead. But if each person gave it their all, you should have a good relationship.
Honestly, as someone who is now in the thick of a serious relationship, I must say these ladies really do know what they're talking about. Take their advice to heart, people!
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