As unimaginable as it is, it happens. You set a date, you arrive on time, you get a table, and you wait, and wait, and wait, until finally, you realize: Your date's not coming. You're been stood up. And everyone around you will know it, too, not because it's conspicuous to get a drink by yourself, but because you've been checking the front door and your phone every 30 seconds since the moment you arrived. If you've been stood up before, perhaps you'll take comfort in hearing some of the
worst stories about getting stood up on a date, because you definitely aren't alone in this.
Believe it or not,
getting stood up can actually be a good thing if it allows you to keep someone unreliable or inconsiderate from coming into your life. But in the moment, few things feel more humiliating. The good news: You're not going to die, and one day, you might even laugh about it. I've collected some of the most horrifying tales from Reddit users who contributed to the Reddit AskWomen thread about no-show dates, as well as from my own friends, and if these folks lived to go on another date, I guarantee that you will, too. I was chatting with this guy for about 1.5 months from OkCupid. He seemed really into me — 'Good morning' texts, always wanting to Skype 'just to hear my voice,' telling me that he couldn't stop talking about me to his friends, etc. We got pretty close in that time... well, as close as two people can get online. He lived 2 hours away at the time, as he was pursuing his Ph.D. He told me that he was coming to see me and that he'd stay for the whole weekend. I was psyched. I bought a new dress, bought lingerie, picked up his favorite foods, and so on. The night before he was to arrive, we were chatting regularly and he was telling me what bus he'd be arriving on. The day of... he never showed. No texts, no calls, no emails. I tried contacting him multiple times, and nothing. Still thinking that he was going to show up late and surprise me, I got all dressed up and even baked him banana bread. He never showed, he never responded. Friday (the day he was to arrive) — nothing. Saturday — nothing. Sunday — nothing. Each day, I got dressed up, stupidly thinking that he'd magically show. Monday (early morning, like 1 a.m.) — he texts me and apologizes. He said that some guy in his apartment building committed suicide, so everyone was questioned by the police and kept away from cell phones. And email. For three days. Yeah, no. Months later, I was contacted by his ex-girlfriend. He was apparently in a serious long-term relationship for years with this girl while we were communicating. He also had other girls on the side, and I was one of MANY. So... bullet dodged, I guess.
toodletwo I was once asked to meet at a coffee shop that had closed an hour before our meeting time. Worse still, the guy wasn't there. Texted him, he didn't answer within five minutes, so I left. He answered hours later apologizing and wanting to reschedule. Obviously, I said no.
— Morgan, 27
I was bringing a guy in to the restaurant I work in. It's a particularly fancy spot and I was particularly fond of this guy. We'd been talking a while, exchanged a lot of flirty texting back and forth, but in that somewhat flirty way that two very reserved people may begin to relax into each other. He went out of town for a bit, and upon returning we were to go on said date. I bought some beautiful wine and had my colleague (and friend) decant one. Our chef (another friend) was very excited to see me excited about someone and made sure he knew what time we were coming in as well as where we'd be sitting. All day the guy was texting me about how excited he was, how much he had missed me, how badly he wanted to sit and have some wine with me, etc. So, I get my nails painted (why the hell not?) and bought a new dress (why the hell not?) and allowed myself to get genuinely excited. We'd known each other and talked long enough that I felt comfortable trusting him. And at 7:30 I text him, he says he's still at work (dinner at 8:30) and then at 7:45 he said, 'I can't, sorry.' Then... I never heard back. I gave it a week and then politely told him that he'd been careless and rude, and I just thought he should know that. But... standing there in that stupid dress, with my stupid painted nails (I rock climb, so rarely get that done) and looking at my stupid phone made me realize... I hate dating. So, I called and cancelled our reservation. Fifteen minutes before. At my own job. Might have cried a little.
clarityofdesire I met someone on a dating app — Bumble I think? And we were like, 'Let’s meet on Saturday,' but that Saturday happened to land on April 1. I even joked with coworkers, 'Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I got stood up?' And then I thought it was weird he didn’t pick a bar or restaurant to meet but just a random corner in SoHo. Mind you, this was way out of my way cause I was living deep Brooklyn at the time. So there I am, 10 minutes early and waiting, and by the time we arranged to meet, he's still not there. No big, some people aren’t early or on time. Then he’s five minutes late. Then 10. Then 15. When it hit 20 I officially had a laugh at the terrible joke of planning a date on April 1, and then went to go buy myself some pastries and had a much better day then what surely was going to be a bad date.
— Claire, 25
It was a Tinder date. A short while after I broke up with my ex, I met up with a girl at a coffee shop. I was really nervous about it, but it went well enough. I was stiff as hell since I didn't know what to expect, but she was fun, excitable, and easy to get along with. After the craziness of our college finals ended, I invited her to church for a second meet-up. She never showed up. She texted me three hours after the service ended (approximately 2 p.m.) and said she slept in. I had set two alarms to make sure I didn't miss, so I felt massively let down. I took it in stride, so we set up another date. The day of, she texts me, 'Hey, I can't make it today.' I reply back, "Just pretend you meant Tuesday. ;).' So we reschedule it for Tuesday. That Tuesday, the day before I leave college for home, I text her to confirm that she can still make it. No response. An hour before the date, she replies, 'Hey, I'm sorry, my dad has a flat in [town two hours away from here], so I'm already an hour down the road. Can we reschedule?' No. No, we can't.
DannyLee90 In college, I got this weird text on Valentine's Day from someone claiming to be my secret admirer. I had no idea who it was and, honestly, I was just really curious. I made plans to meet him for a drink the next day. (I tried to be safe about it: We met in public at a location I chose, I told my friends where I was going, and I gave the bartender a heads up in case I needed help.) But after I waited at the bar for a half hour, I realized he was never going to show up. I was angry at getting stood up, but what happened next was even weirder: He kept texting me all these really invasive questions about my personal life, even asking if a specific one of my guy friends was circumcised. Then, he started texting my best friend similar stuff. It was so creepy. I guess I really dodged a bullet by getting stood up in the first place.
— Hannah, 26
I met a guy at a bar an hour from where I live. We exchanged numbers and made plans to meet up for lunch two days later. I drove back an HOUR to meet this guy. I got there a little earlier than expected, so I texted him saying I was waiting at the bar... and nothing. He never responded and ending up sitting at the bar alone. The worst part? I ordered mac & cheese to make me feel better and it was the worst I've ever had!
mpt6872 When I was dating online a lot 2 years ago, there was this guy, seemed too good to be true, but I figured I would figure him out on our first date. He said he was a medical student, studying to specialize in urology. He texted me often and we would talk about random things. He asked a few times for 'sexy pics' but I never gave. Then he finally asked to go out for dinner, I agreed. The night before, he confirmed we would meet at this place for that time, said he made reservations. The next day, I text him as I'm getting out of work to confirm if we are still on. He doesn't reply, but I figure maybe he's busy. I go home, get ready. Still no reply. I decide to go to the restaurant, but I don't go in. I park far in the parking lot and I sit there watching and waiting. I don't see any single guy drive in and go into the restaurant. We were to meet at 7 p.m. It was 7:15 p.m. when I left the parking lot. I didn't bother to text him after that and I never heard from him again. I still don't understand what was his point/fun in all day, he got nothing out of it but time wasted.
Teisi I got stood up and waited 45 minutes. I'd heard from him the night before — we were (if I remember correctly) meeting for brunch. Personal rule, I now don't wait more than 15 minutes for you unless you are related by blood or a plane is involved. He also tried to give me a bullsh*t excuse that he had gone to a funeral... When I had already mentally slotted him into never mind territory. He actually asked me out again! LOL no. If it was a real funeral, well, you would probably have sent a text from the bathroom or something. And funerals don't pop up on that short of a notice. three days later I was especially creeped out that he mentioned that he thought he had seen me around and knew who I was, so maybe I narrowly missed dating my own stalker?
blueharpy I had a first date with a guy I met on OkCupid. He suggested we have drinks at this really gorgeous, upscale bar, so I got all dolled up in a nice dress and heels. I didn't see him at the bar when I walked in, so I texted him where I was standing and hoped I'd hear from him soon. After a full 30 minutes of standing in uncomfortable stilettos, I had to admit he wasn't coming. I got a hot dog from a street vendor and called it a night. Flash forward a few weeks later, and I start getting all these creepy texts from the same guy. Somehow, he dug up random information about my friend's mom (seriously — what?) and was sending really bizarre messages. I gave him a piece of my mind over text, but never really got answers about the references to my friend's mom.
— Hannah, 26
Dating is hard enough without being stood up, but if you have ever had a no-show date, don't let it get you down. Instead of considering yourself stood up, consider yourself lucky — after all, you just saved the price of a few drinks and a few hours that you'd never get back if you wasted them on a jerk.