10 Things People Do Before Sex That Are Actually Pretty Awkward
I have a lot of pre-date rituals — like getting a blowout, doing a face mask, and waxing everything — because, yeah, I'd like to think that some of my dates will end in the bedroom. Like my pre-date ritual, I assume that there are things people do before sex to make sure that things go smoothly (pun intended).
Maybe this includes getting a Brazilian wax a few days before but what about a few minutes before stripping down? I think if we're all being honest with ourselves, we have a pre-sex routine, too. It can be as simple as going to the bathroom to fix your makeup or tying your hair into a messy but sexy ponytail so it doesn't get in the way. We all do it. (Fun fact: I use this bathroom break to remove the gel petals that I'm obviously wearing under my strapless, backless dress. Like, seriously, what did he think was going on under there?)
Apart from these seemingly mundane tasks, I don't really do much else but I'm starting to think I need to step my game up. According to the wise (and vocal) people of Reddit, there's a lot that can and should be done before getting down to it. Here's what 10 people had to say and um, should I be taking notes?
I have trouble getting through all the steps in my nighttime routine but this person's pre-sex warmup is legit. Kudos.
It's different for everyone, but may include some of the following: Pee. Wipe genitals down with a little soap and water. Shave/trim anything that's been neglected (especially bikini line). Pluck any stray hairs on the face or around the nipples. Deoderant. Brush teeth, or at least use a little mouthwash. Remove any makeup that could become smeared or unsightly (lipstick or mascara). Freshen any makeup you might be wearing (powder oily spots, etc) basically try to look nice. Tie long hair back. Some people will "warm up" or masturbate a little. It helps if you have overly sensitive nipples or genitals, which can be uncomfortable if a partner touches something before you're aroused enough.
Now, this I get.
Holy shit. I just pee and do a happy dance.
Again, totally more my speed.
Sometimes I only do the happy dance
Why have I never done this?
Hahahahahahaha, not quite ! As I'm washing my hands, I look at myself in the mirror and give myself the "f*ck yes I am getting my ass laid" smile and then do a few booty pops and excited seal hands.
OK, I'll admit I've done pre-sex lunges in the bathroom before.
I gargle mouthwash and scrub the vag a little bit. I have this coochy cream that also makes it smell really good. Sometimes, I quickly go over it with a razor if there are any stray hairs. I have also been known to get down on the floor and do a few crunches if my abs look a little bloated. Yeah, I just admitted the last one.
This seems like an odd time for a pedicure but sure.
I take a piss, and squirt some warm water on my vagina to clean it up a bit, swish around some mouthwash, q-tip my ears, sniff my armpits/apply deodorant if needed, and buff my feet with the buffer because rough feet kill the mood.
Leftover TP is a total mood-killer.
Make sure no toilet paper bits are left behind in my lady parts.
And this is how the TP gets there in the first place.
Take a dump.
Admirable but time-consuming in the heat of the moment, no?
Hey, if we can do it so can you guys!
Wash! Guys, if there's even a slight chance of you having sex, wash your genitals! I can't believe how many times I've had to tell a guy to do this. I invited you over, what were you thinking was gonna happen?
For the most part, these are all pretty genius suggestions even if we'd like to pretend they don't exist.
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