We've all heard the standard reasons for ending a relationship: someone cheated, there just wasn't any chemistry anymore, the people grew apart, the distance was too much to bear, and so on. But the most unforgivable things you can do in a relationship are talked about far less often. What do I mean by that? I mean that one person in the relationship did something so incredibly terrible that there was simply just no going back from that point. In a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, women shared the totally unforgivable things their partners did that eventually led to the end of their relationships.
Trust me, they're not your standard "we grew apart" stories. They fall more under the "OMG, WTF, how could any human being treat another human being like that?" category. That being said, I think we should take them as beacons of hope. These women went through these horrific situations with their partners and they still managed to hold their heads up high, move on, and even share the stories with other people as a cautionary tale. Let's use them as inspiration. Even when things are really bad, you can always find a way out.
He ghosted me, but was still part of my friend group and we had plans to go on holiday together with 10~ people in the next few weeks. I was annoyed, and he very much thought we were still together... But wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't reply to messages etc.
Realised I'd never forgive hom when he started blaming his dad for his issues, whilst trying to salvage the relationship, and i was dumping him. Also had to call a friend, to call a friend to tell him to meet me.
He cheated with a customer and tried to make me COMPETE for him. We broke up, I started seeing someone else and he was all broken up about it (stalking me too). We tried to make things work, he went back to her again. Long story short he was abusive from the start and I should have ran a lot sooner than I did.
I like to remember how I handled the final interaction. I like knowing that I make more money than him now (he was a skilled tradesman, I was “just the secretary” and he loved showing off his paycheck). Everyone thinks he’s a douche bag because he’s burned too many bridges.
Almost a year- he called my mother and I c*nts when I told him we were taking a day trip and would be back in the evening. I broke up with him for that. Best decision. There were a lot of red flags before that as well but that was a final straw.
cheated in a long term marriage. i tried for many years after to make it work, and for a bit it did - a couple years in i thought we were happy, but i was never not on tenterhooks, and things slid back anyhow. he never changed, so i never got over it. marriage counselling (never again), relationship counselling, individual therapy, support groups, constantly focusing on looking 21 because old, grey, fat and sh*t personality was attracted to the playboy bunny type...one day i just decided that i was done working so hard for so little, and left. it took me 2 years from when i realised i couldn't do anything else and was miserably unhappy to the "f*ck this, I'm out of here this minute" moment though, and 8 years from the actual cheating.
After 17 years he cheated on me with a close friend of mine. I tried for almost 3 years, but think deep down I knew after 6 months that I couldn't forgive him. He was gaslighting me the entire time, blaming me for his infidelity, and in therapy he said we were there to 'fix' me, which was the final straw.
About 3 years. I stayed around a couple more thinking if I couldn’t forgive maybe I could forget and start fresh. He never stopped though.
There are many many things that went wrong in my first marriage. The worst of it was that he was stealing my pain pills. On top of abusing his own. Hundreds a month. It wasn’t just that he was stealing them from me. It’s that he would take them all and force me into withdrawal every month. So I’d have to go to work withdrawing from meds I should have had. I had been in pain management since I was ~18 or so and managed my meds very well. He stole them because he was always #1. Didn’t matter how much I suffered. The first year or so he was doing it, he denied it so vehemently he made me feel like I was crazy. And that it was me taking too many and not remembering because I was crazy.
The once in a while distasteful joke about the "homosexual lifestyle" turned into an all the time [thing]. I myself am bisexual, and I realize that if we ever had children together, he wouldn't be the type of father to love their child unconditionally. The icing on the cake was when he didn't show up to my mother's funeral. No call, no text, no warning that he wasn't going to show. I knew right then and there that he wouldn't be there to support me with any future hardships. Took about 6-7 months to figure that all out.
Smashed the phone i bought them over an argument.
I have very little tolerance for that sort of drama.
edit: to clarify I broke up with them over it and that was the end of that.
i mean we had a host of issues but one of the guys i was dating for a while, he said “what will people think of you?” when i had mentioned i wanted to get a couple more tattoos. i realized he meant “i will think less of you if you do that” and that was it for me. we were over.
i get being attracted to different things but i had a bunch of tattoos when he met me. there’s a difference between lack of respect and lack of attraction. he went on to do further dickish things after we broke up so it was absolutely the right call for everyone involved.
It was kind of a snowball effect, but I think the kicker was that he left me high and dry for a family member’s funeral. We were living separately at the time and trying to work out some issues, and supposedly he was “trying.” This “trying” not only didn’t extend to him attending the wake/funeral, but also to barely contacting me at all both days. I’d felt alone during a lot of the relationship for several reasons, but never more alone than that day.
Stupid me, he wore me down into coming back. But nothing has been the same, and now I’m on my way out.
An important thing to note here is that these women didn't necessarily leave their relationships the moment these unforgivable things took place. Sometimes, leaving a relationship can take time.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1(800) 799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org.
