Breakups must've been a lot simpler before everyone had cell phones. When a relationship was over, you had to actually call your ex or come face-to-face with them to reestablish contact. Both are direct, so the risk of it being awkward was high. With the advent of texting, the temptation to keep contact going can be intense, because everything feels more passive behind the security of a phone screen. When those moments of wavering conviction strikes, having a few mantras to repeat instead of texting your ex may be your best defense against firing off a message to them.
Next time you feel like you just can't help but shoot them a "you up?" or even a "hey," take a deep breath and slowly recite one of these mantras until the desire to text your ex fades.
I’ve made too much progress to go back now.
Even if it's the day after your breakup, the healing has begun and the headway's been made. Healing's just something that happens a day at a time, so hold fast to your progress.
This moment will end and I will be glad I stayed strong.
Wanting to text your ex can be like a craving, and it can be powerful. But like all cravings, they will pass given time. This mantra is to help you to remember that you're stronger mentally than any desire to send a text.
The sooner I put them in my past, the sooner I will step into my future.
Part of moving on is letting go, and that can be really difficult. In those moments, remember that, by giving something up (in this case, the fantasy of what could have been), it opens you up to all the beautiful possibilities of what will be.
We’ve already said everything that needs to be said to one another.
Is there a legitimate reason you need to speak to them? Or is it just because, at this moment, you want to? If it's the latter, then remind yourself all the important things have already been said. The rest is all just backtracking.
I’m just bored. There are better ways to spend my energy.
One of the most challenging things about post-breakup life is that you often have a lot of time on your hands. It's natural to get bored and fall into old habits like contacting your ex. But it's probably not productive, so remind yourself that your time and energy are yours, and you have better ways to spend them both.
I'm strong enough to keep my promises to myself.
If you’ve made a promise to yourself to cut off contact from your ex, this mantra will help re-center you and bring that promise back into focus. The truth is you are strong enough to resist, even when it’s really hard.
I'm healing more every day and this will only set me back.
When you’re healing from a breakup, every day can feel a bit like a battle. Hold onto that growth and hard-won healing by not picking up the phone.
I'm moving on.
Even when it may feel like you're stuck, by not looking back you're taking steps forward. Embrace it and the optimism of what awaits as you move forward with your life.
I'm strong enough to resist the urge to text them.
Listen, it's not always easy to resist texting your ex. The phone is right there in your hand. But just because it's hard, that doesn’t mean you have to do it. You're stronger than you think, and if you know not contacting someone is the right thing for you, you can do it.
The past is the past.
The time for texting your ex is in the past, and you're your future.
Just about everyone has had moments when they were tempted to text a former flame, so you're definitely not alone in how you're feeling. But you don’t have to cave to the temptation if you don't want to. While it can be challenging, these mantras can really help you remember what matters most: your health, happiness, and all the beautiful new things you’ve made room for in your life by moving on.