When you see a happy couple, it's hard not to wonder,
How did they do it?
For most Millennials, making a relationship last more than a few months can be pretty challenging.
Luckily, ScienceDaily released a study unveiling the secrets to a lasting marriage. So, maybe we can all learn a few things.
The study includes results from a random national survey of about 400 Americans, aged 65 and older, who were asked how to find compatible partners and give advice pertaining to love and relationships.
Cornell gerontologist Karl Pillemer conducted interviews with individuals who have been married for at least 30 years and individuals who are now divorced.
The married individuals provided advice on how to sustain marriages while the divorced individuals were asked how to avoid breakups.
The results were coded by selecting the most commonly occurring recommendations, and those were put into a list of tips for successful marriages.
The top five lessons included:
- Learn to communicate.
- Get to know your partner very well before marrying.
- Treat marriage as an unbreakable, lifelong commitment.
- Learn to work as a team.
- Choose a partner who is very similar to you.
These unique insights show the value of using rigorous survey methods to uncover the practical wisdom of older people. Although a number of general studies of elder wisdom have been conducted, no one had researched the specific advice elders have for a critical life domain like marriage. Therefore, the study points the way toward the need for future research on concrete lessons we learn over the course of our lives.
To get more details on Pillemer's findings and to learn how to apply these lessons to your own love life, you can read his book, “30 Lessons for Loving: Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage.”