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You'll Soon Be Able To Request A Hot Air Balloon On Uber

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Uber is branching out from just focusing on villainous business practices and the lucrative industry of shuttling drunk Americans who keep asking "yo do you have an aux cable?" to and from bars.

Uber is getting into the air balloon business. Yup, a company whose job it is to get you places quickly and cheaply will be offering rich Chinese people the option to take a big balloon with no real steering mechanism into the sky.

First of all, yeah, Uber is in China now. The company arrived on the scene around two years ago and now has a strong presence in over 60 Chinese cities, according to TechCrunch.

It's even started cutting in on the business of China's biggest taxi service, Didi Chuxing (which, I'm sure you will agree, sounds very much like a cool rapper I'd like). To get an edge on competitors, Uber's doing stuff like offering a HotAirBalloon ride option and UberBoat. UberBoat is exactly what it sounds like.

Maybe Uber's trying to just make it as easy as possible for drunk Chinese people to charter an air balloon or a yacht without really thinking it through.

Anyway, maybe if balloon Ubering does well in China, the company will bring it to the US, and then American drunk people can go ahead and Snapchat themselves lighting cigarettes on the open flame of the engine.

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As for me, the only time I'd ever get into an Uber air balloon would be to escape Nazis in an "Indiana Jones" movie.

Citations: Uber positions its China app as more than a ride-hailing service (TechCrunch), On-Demand Hot Air Balloon : Supported by GrabOn (Uber Newsroom), Set Sail with UberBOAT (Uber Newsroom)