This Sheep Just Broke The Record For How Much Wool It Got Sheared Off

I can't emphasize how unironic I'm being when I say I am genuinely impressed by how much wool this sheep has.

Like, this sheep has a stunning amount of wool.

A hiker came across this random sheep -- that looks less like an animal and more like a clump of walking dryer lint gaining sentience after an explosion at a nuclear factory -- wandering around the Australian bush.

I mean, look at how much wool this sheep has!

#PointTonte Chris the sheep avec 42 kilos de laine en moins. pic.twitter.com/sfS1We43XM — Matthieu Escoriza (@escoriza) September 3, 2015

Really, look at all this goddamn wool!

Help! @rspcaact needs help from a sheerer immediately to hopefully save this sheep we just rescued! #Canberra #CBR pic.twitter.com/427j1ZN40E — Tammy Ven Dange (@tvendange) September 2, 2015

This sheep has effing 89 pounds of wool on him! It's actually the most wool on a sheep ever!

The old record was held by a sheep named Big Ben from New Zealand. Big Ben had 63 pounds of wool, which is weak sh*t compared to what this new and undeniably better sheep produced!

The sheep, now named Chris (as in, “Jesus CHRISt that's a butt-ton of wool!”), was actually so full of wool it could apparently barely see or walk.

With that much wool, Chris was also reportedly at risk for skin parasites and falling over without the ability to get up, leaving Chris exposed to predators.

It took a professional shearer 45 minutes to rid Chris of the thick cottony coat, and that's crazy when you take into account it usually takes two minutes to take the wool off a sheep, according to The Washington Post.

There was SO much wool taken off Chris, experts believe it could actually be enough to make 30 men's suits.

Sheep "Chris" is now pondering his new lighter self post @rspcaact. Note that the pink stain is antiseptic spray. pic.twitter.com/zDwrfxb9qn — Tammy Ven Dange (@tvendange) September 3, 2015

I am now fascinated by wool.

Citations: Meet Chris the insanely overgrown sheep that nearly died for the sake of our fashion (The Washington Post)