At 70 years old, Donald Trump will be America's oldest sitting president ever.
His doctor had some very weird and not-reassuring things to say when asked about this fact by Stat News, a wellness publication.
But let's give some backstory first because it's all just too good.
So during the presidential campaign, some people questioned Donald Trump's health. It's an important question, of course, because we don't want another William Henry Harrison (look it up), and also because Donald Trump looks like he has the cholesterol and blood pressure of a WWE wrestler who has retired and become a competitive lasagna eater.
Trump's physician of 39 years, Dr. Harold Bornstein, attempted to put any worries to rest with an official letter proclaiming Trump's perfect bill of health. Suspicions arose, however, when people actually read this bill of health.
First of all, it starts with this giant red flag,
To Whom My Concern,
Yes, to your concern. Yes. Whom. Yes. OK.
He ends the letter with this:
If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.
Excuse me, what now? You are a real doctor, right? Like -- not like Dr. Phil. Like, you went to school for medicine, right?
Because you need to stop equivocating. No more equivocating for you, you've had quite enough -- you'll spoil your appetite.
OK, so fast forward to the present day. Stat News asks Dr. Phil -- I mean Dr. Bornstein -- how he felt about Trump being America's oldest sitting president.
His answer to this:
It never occurred to me that he was the oldest president, not for a second.
Yes, I think we can agree he and Trump were made for each other, as they have the exact same rhetorical strategies.
By the way, if I had to delineate the basic characteristics of this style of verbal combat, I'd say it's one that vacillates between denial, feigning ignorance and a level of blind confidence that gives newborn babies a run for their money.
OK, but the next thing Dr. Bornstein said was even stranger.
If something happens to him, then it happens to him.
Don't worry. He explains himself further.
It's like all the rest of us, no? That's why we have a vice president and a speaker of the House and a whole line of people. They can just keep dying.
OK, I honestly do not know what to say about this. You do what you want with this information.