Joe Biden Wants To Beat Up Trump: I Wish 'I Could Take Him Behind The Gym'

by John Haltiwanger

Vice President Joe Biden -- aka America's mascot -- wants to beat up Donald Trump for bragging about sexual assault.

Normally, we shouldn't condone such violence, but given Trump has made a habit of encouraging it at his rallies, we can probably let it slide in Biden's case this one time.

And, come on, look at this guy. It's impossible to stay mad at him!

Biden spoke about his desire to trade blows with Trump while campaigning for Hillary Clinton at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania.

The vice president is very fired up about Trump's controversial "grab them by the pussy" remarks, and stated,

What he said he did and does is the textbook definition of sexual assault. And it's more than that. He said because I'm famous and because I'm a star, I can do things other people can't — what a disgusting assertion for anyone to make.

Biden then noted the press often asks him if he could debate Trump one-on-one, and said,

No, I wish we were in high school and I could take him behind the gym.

Do high school kids still fight behind gyms? Did they ever?

That's apparently how they did it back in Biden's day.

It seems Biden is feeling very youthful these days.

In addition to wishing he was still in high school so he could fight Trump "behind the gym," the vice president recently got special permission to drive his '67 Corvette while rocking aviators with Jay Leno as a passenger.

Speaking with Leno, the vice president said,

I owe you big. You realize this is only the third time I've gotten to drive this in seven years?

And of course, because he's Joe Biden, he promptly did a burnout while driving at a secure Washington DC training facility. Like a boss.

It's pretty safe to say there is no one cooler than Joe Biden.