Clinton's Classmate Proves She's Always Been Badass: She 'Punched Me In The Nose'


Breitbart News published an article that was intended to make Hillary Clinton look like she has a bad temperament, just as she's accused Donald Trump of having.

The only thing is, some of the anecdotes the article includes just make her seem, well, super badass.

One story in particular stood out so much that reporter Tim Murphy even tweeted that Clinton "should put this in ads:"

The story comes from one of Clinton's former grammar school classmates.

He said that Clinton asked him to guard a bunch of bunnies. She asked that he not give the bunnies away to other boys.

But then, he did. So, he said,

Hillary hauled me off and punched me in the nose.

I mean, honestly, dude: You had ONE JOB! For the BUNNIES!

Perception is a funny thing. Some see this as an example of Clinton being mean. Others see it as an example of some idiot boy being an idiot, and a girl having enough of his idiocy.

Personally, the first thing I thought of was that badass moment in "Harry Potter" when Hermione decides she's finally had enough of Draco's shit. So, she punches him, and the theater audience goes, "YAAAAASSSSS QUEEN!"


The Breitbart article also included a few other anecdotes. One was from 1974, when Clinton was working with attorney Bernard Nussbaum on the House Judiciary Committee Watergate investigation. (Yes, she did that.)

I mean...she's not wrong — Alexandra Svokos (@asvokos) October 6, 2016

At the time, Hillary was 26 and dating a certain Bill Clinton. Nussbaum said that he doubted her boyfriend would become president of the United States one day.

Hillary apparently took offense to this. She used curse words at Nussbaum, and said that he didn't "know a goddam thing."

Well, she wasn't wrong: Nussbaum didn't know a goddamn thing.

Bill became president of the United States. Hillary was right.

The article includes a few other examples of Clinton apparently cursing in everyday conversation.

Truly, this is the side of Hillary I want to see on the campaign trail — Alexandra Svokos (@asvokos) October 6, 2016

This includes her responding to a Secret Service officer's greeting with "Fuck off." This is an awful anecdote I can't stop giggling about because I am an awful person.

Sorry, Secret Service officer.

All this article tells me is Breitbart clearly would be scandalized by "Veep."

Trying to compare Clinton's temperament to Trump's is a challenging exercise. In public, she has remained endlessly calm, even in the face of 11 straight hours of questioning.

The article ends with a few questions:

Did you ever hear of Donald Trump trying to pull out his hair?

Well, no. But I have seen a woman pull his hair in order to allegedly prove it's not a toupee.

And one time, Jimmy Fallon rubbed his hair.

Did you ever hear of Donald Trump screaming at campaign workers?

Well, it wasn't a campaign worker. But I DID hear Donald Trump kick a crying baby out of a campaign rally.

One former Trump adviser has said,

They use and abuse people. The policy office fell apart in August when the promised checks weren't delivered.

Plus, rumor has it that Trump wasn't happy about Mike Pence doing better at his debate than Donald did.

Did you ever hear of Donald Trump physically attacking someone?

Yes, in fact.

Did you ever hear of Donald Trump using curse words in practically every sentence?

Does "bomb the shit out of them" count?

What about "she said he's a pussy?"

So, in conclusion...

When Hillary Clinton was a child, she allegedly once punched a boy. Take that however you will.

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Citations: Breitbart News, Vanity Fair, Deadspin, Newsweek