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This Feminist Mike Pence "Sexy Song" Is The Perfect Soundtrack For Threats Of Nuclear War

by Alexandra Svokos
YouTube

With all this casual talk about a possible nuclear war between the United States and North Korea, it's cool to have some levity. And it's especially cool when that levity comes in the form of a song that conveys all of your feelings about the state of the executive office right now. "A Desperate Sexy Song For Mike Pence," a satirical music video made by Dominique Salerno and Laura Hankin, is just what America needs.

The music video features Hankin and Salerno in bathrobes singing lustily about Vice President Mike Pence... well, kind of.

"Boy we've been lying awake all night -- terrified," the song starts. The women go on to sing that they're "craving a man who understands a brief and who calls his wife 'Mother.'"

And then the chorus kicks in: "Mike Pence, would you save us from nuclear war?"

No, this isn't an earnest call for Pence to take over as president. Rather, the song voices a thought process many of us have had since the 2016 presidential election: President Donald Trump seems existentially risky to have as a president, so we might all feel physically safer if he were impeached and Pence took over, but Pence, well, kind of sucks for rights and freedoms of all Americans.

"We'd regularly debate which horrifying man would be better as president, and freak out, and rehash the same arguments over and over again," Hankin and Salerno tell Elite Daily in an email. "So we figured we might as well channel all our terror into a Britney Spears-esque video."

Or, as they sing, "Mike Pence, you'd be awful for ladies and gays ... but you might not usher in the end of days."

(You should really watch to the end of the video for the savage conclusion.)

Nuclear panic is high as Trump said North Korea would face "fire and fury like the world has never seen" if the country threatens the U.S. This came on the heels of reports that North Korea has missile-ready nuclear weapons.

"With Trump, EVERYTHING seems wildly, scarily unpredictable. With him and Kim Jong-un, you're looking at two people who don't act according to logic, so anything could happen," Hankin and Salerno tell me in their email. "At least Pence most likely wouldn't conduct foreign policy through tweeting. The Tweet that launched a thousand missiles is not what we want."

Although they are of course concerned about the liberty effects of a Pence presidency, "at least you can overturn laws. You can't un-nuclear bomb a city."

And there you have it.