News

NASA Says Zodiac Signs Aren't Real, So Our Lives Are Basically Meaningless

by Joseph Milord
Shutterstock

Have you ever had anyone try to explain how he or she isn't actually wrong for hurting you, only to end up hurting you even more? Yeah, that's what NASA just did with this whole changing-the-zodiac business.

NASA previously announced there is another Zodiac sign, called Ophiuchus, and naturally, everyone freaked out.

Then, in explaining its side of the story, NASA pretty much smacked everyone who loves horoscopes in the face with an argument that went along the line of this: Don't worry, guys, astrology is fake anyway.

Here were NASA's exact words:

Astronomers and other scientists know that stars many light years away have no effect on the ordinary activities of humans on Earth. Astrology is something else. It's not science. No one has shown that astrology can be used to predict the future or describe what people are like based on their birth dates.

Good job, guys, way to make everyone feel better.

Don't get me wrong, though. The space agency had an otherwise perfectly logical argument for why it didn't "change" anything.

In its Tumblr blog, NASA said,

To make a tidy match with their 12-month calendar, the Babylonians ignored the fact that the sun actually moves through 13 constellations, not 12. Then they assigned each of those 12 constellations equal amounts of time. So, we didn't change any zodiac signs…we just did the math.

The post explains the Babylonians, who first invented the Zodiac, purposefully left out the constellation Ophiuchus, which the sun lines up with from November 29 t0 December 17.

That means the Babylonians had it wrong from the beginning. So if you're a Cancer who was born in early July, like yours truly, you were really a Gemini all along.

Your star sign has probably changed according to @NASA horoscope update 2016 , what is an Ophiuchus anyway . Is Astrology a Science ? pic.twitter.com/bk9UuBF6kh — Caroline Kere (@carolinekere) September 21, 2016

But don't point fingers at NASA because it's not out here trying to take any of the blame.

However, we could still point fingers at NASA for stomping on our belief in the Zodiac -- and by "we," I really mean "ya'll." Good luck with your next horoscope coming true.

Citations: NASA