Guille Faingold

Annoying Microsoft Paper Clip Has Returned To Chrome

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Anytime I had to write an essay in high school, there was that one overeager friend who just couldn't help but ask if I needed help.

That friend's name was Clippy, and he was an annoying, animated paper clip whose reign of terror lasted for as long as we had a Windows computer. (SORRY I DIDN'T HAVE REAL FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL.)

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Stop. Stop that. Are you seriously trying to flirt with me, Clippy?

He'd bounce around, look you right in your goddamn eyes with a drunken stare and say,

Hi I'm Clippy! I'm the browser assistant and my job is to help you navigate this page. Do you need assistance?

No, Clippy. I need you to leave me the hell alone. This was me in Microsoft Word all day, every day:

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Thanks to a third-party developer named "yoman821," you can now make your lives so much worse by downloading the paper clip that could shapeshift into a bicycle or a check mark as a Chrome extension at the Chrome store.

Why you'd want to do that is beyond me.

I liken Clippy's return to that of Imhotep in "The Mummy." We should never have brought this dangerous creature back to life.

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If it's 3 am, and someone's knocking on my front door, you know who the last person I want to see through my eyehole?

This guy:

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Clippy is the one who knocks.

*Literally has chills for the rest of the day*

There's no word yet as to whether or not Microsoft will allow this extension to continue to exist.

Hopefully, the company takes a cross and some holy water and permanently destroys this evil entity for all coming time.

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I'm like 80 percent that's how you'd have to remove this Chrome extension, technologically speaking.

One thing's for sure. We must never resurrect AIM's Smarter Child. Never.

Citations: Clippy is back, and this time it's coming for your browser (Mashable)