The '90s brought us many things: Nano pets, transformation chambers and most of all, some of the most obnoxious songs ever created.
Don't get me wrong; the '90s gave us some great music. But even great music can have its obnoxious elements, which usually go unnoticed because the song is enjoyable. However, I leave no stone unturned.
Here's are six secretly obnoxious songs of the '90s:
1. "Drops of Jupiter" — Train
"Drops of Jupiter" by Train will always have a special place in Millennial's hearts. Yours truly was a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed 15-year-old when Train dropped this smash hit.
Fifteen-year-old me had the same thought many of my peers did, “This is the deepest song I have ever heard.” Any song that has liquid matter from celestial bodies leaking onto a woman's head constitutes a great song as far as teenagers are concerned. “Man heaven is overrated.”
Most obnoxious lyric: "She listens like spring and she talks like June." Really? As far as obnoxious lyrics go, this is pretty high on the list the personification of seasons and months. Come on, Shakespeare. "Drops of Jupiter" proves one thing. Never trust a song that has a lyrics about fried chicken in it. Seriously, look it up.
2. "Butterfly" — Crazy Town
Ah yes, Crazy Town, the bad boys with a romantic side. If 15-year-old me was impressed by "Drops of Jupiter." Fourteen-year-old me was rendered catatonic by "Butterfly." The song had one of the most recognizable guitar riffs and hook of the generation.
With that being said, for all edgy romanticism. Basically, "Butterfly" was a song about getting a woman to orgasm. “Come my lady, come, come my lady,” who do you think you're fooling, Crazy Town? Most likely no one, because there were not really any veiled intentions in that song; it was all pretty transparent.
Most obnoxious lyric: "Girl it's me and you like Sid and Nancy." Crazy Town, things didn't end well for Sid and Nancy. That's like a sailor aspiring to be like the captain of the Titanic.
3. "No Scrubs" — TLC
TLC was the quintessential '90s female R&B group. The group was so good, their songs are still in regular rotation at many stations across the good ol' US. TLC ended the '90s with one of the group's biggest hits, "No Scrubs." The song quickly became a female anthem. I was in eighth grade when this song came out, and while reminiscing about our time in middle school, my good friend and comedy partner, Rocco Deserto, pointed out a not-so-fond memory.
When the song came out, every girl we knew was calling every guy she knew a scrub. This would include yours truly. Those attacks were unwarranted. We were 13 years old. Come on, TLC. Really? I wasn't even hanging out the passenger side of my best friend's ride. My best friend didn't have a ride; he was 13.
Most obnoxious lyric: “If you live at home with your mamma / Oh yes, son, I'm talking to you.” Of course I lived at home with my mamma when I was a teenager. Due to my financial situation, I do currently live at home with my mamma. So yes TLC, I'm a scrub now, but not then.
4. "Girl On TV" — LFO
How can one describe the enigma that was LFO? It was hard to pinpoint their style. The hit "Summer Girls" put the group on the map. That would be followed by "Girl On TV" a song about falling in love with a television star -- something all young men and women go through. LFO was known for their semi-comical lyrics, but "Girl On TV" took that a bit too far.
Most obnoxious lyric: “Shooby doo-wap and scooby snacks / I met a fly girl and I can't relax.” Instead of giving commentary, I should just put an side eye emoji here. Scooby snacks? I know this is a song centered around television, but LFO really couldn't find another word to rhyme with relax?
5. "Truly Madly Deeply" — Savage Garden
Savage Garden can have an entire album on this list. The Australian pop duo had a flair for the melodramatic. I like to think of myself as a romantic kind of guy, but Savage Garden always laid it on a bit too thick. Besides being a mouthful, "Truly Madly Deeply" takes listeners on enchanted journey through the sea and mountain tops. I was exhausted just listening to that song. Bathing was also a primary focus, but I won't get into that.
Most obnoxious lyric: “And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky, I'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry” That's just bad syntax. What the hell is Savage Garden talking about? I think one of President Obama's last actions as president should be to start an investigation to figure out where Savage Garden was going with that song. But like the Supreme Court vacancy, the Senate may want this task left to the next president.
6. "Blue" — Eiffel 65
Eiffel 65's "Blue" would leave listeners in a hypnotic ecstasy. The simple songs would take on a whole other meaning when the over analytical got their hands on the dance track. Many would say that song was a social commentary on depression and mental health.
Those are indeed important issues that need to be talked about but that wasn't the case with this song. Lead singer Jeffrey Jey put that rumor to rest when he said, “I started thinking about the way people are and about lifestyles, the way you buy your house, pick your girlfriend, your job or the neighborhood in which you live. Then I came up with a color, a color that describes someone's lifestyle." Most obnoxious lyric: "Da ba dee da ba die." The song's famous chorus is obnoxious because of its ambiguous nature. My friends and I would have a debate over what the actual lyric was, with my best friend claiming to have read the lyric as, "If I was green I would die." I have to admit, that sounds like it could be true.
7. "I Knew I Loved You" — Savage Garden
Just when I thought I was out, Savage Garden pulled me back in. If you thought I wasn't done with the '90s Australian hit making machine, you're right. This song is on the list because it's spawned the overuse of what has become one of the most clichéd platitudes of all time. Since the song's 1999 release, the phrase, “I knew I loved you before I met you,” has appeared in more weddings than a Kardashian, and that's saying a lot.
What could possibly save this song is if it was about psychics. Maybe that could have saved another '90s hallmark, the Psychic Friends Network. I could picture Dionne Warwick singing, “I knew I loved you before I met you,” while people called in to find out about the future love of their lives.
That would have been amazing.