B*tch, I Quit: Seven Songs To Play When You Quit Your Awful Job

by Angela Ruhinda

We’ve all seen the viral video of Marina Shifrin chucking the deuces to her boss via YouTube due to feeling dissatisfied. What Marina did was not only brave, but it was also inspiring and creative.

I know a few people who wish they could just quit their jobs in a ceremonious manner and drop the mic like a rapper capping off a show, but it’s not that simple.

Let’s pretend that we all had this young woman’s ballsy approach to resignation. What songs would you use in your resignation video? Here are a few good choices for you to pick from:

“Royals” by Lorde

Lorde is single-handedly teaching us that it’s okay to be broke. Yes, she’s only 16, but her philosophy makes sense. We’re never going to pop Grey Goose and champagne in our bathrobes so we might as well look for a different kind of buzz.

It’s a laid back way of saying, “I don’t care what you think, nothing’s worth all the things I sacrificed for this dead end job.”

“Ain’t Worried About Nothin” by French Montana

Tell your boss that even though you’re losing a job, you’re not worried about a damn thing. This song will especially be valued the first night out after quitting. You’ll still have money in your pocket and the possibilities of your new life seem endless. Until your bill arrives and you wonder whether you should be worried about something.

“New Slaves” by Kanye West

Kanye West already made the soundtrack for Marina Shifrin’s epic viral video, so we know it’s a formula that works. The title says it all: we’re not slaves! Ain’t nobody got time for that. And in the great words of Mr. West, you’d rather be a dick than a swallower. Leave that line open for interpretation.

“Up In Flames” by Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj’s “Up In Flames” isn’t her biggest song, but it would be a great theme song for your ‘forget this’ moment. You might even be inspired to light up all your paperwork and leave your oppressive desk in shambles. But then again, that might be a little too dramatic.

“Roar” by Katy Perry

Katy Perry probably wrote this song for Russell Brand, but you can make your boss your Russell Brand. Maybe his jeans are too tight, and he’s got a ridiculous vocabulary that he uses to make you feel inferior, but remember that you’re a tiger and your boss will hear you roar! But don’t feel like you have to wear leopard jeggings to get your point across.

“I’m Out” by Ciara ft. Nicki Minaj

It’s Friday afternoon and you’re simply over it. Call your girls and your boys and tell them that you’re finally about to do it. Next, turn up Ciara’s new tune and dance on top of your desk with your resignation letter in hand. That’s okay, you’ve got your cake up - oh ye, ye, ye! (Twerking your way to the exit is optional, but effective.)

“The Motion” by Drake

Finally, your boss finally believes that you’re going and never coming back. You don’t want there to be any hard feelings, so you let them know that that’s how the cookie crumbles. It’s just the motion of this big corporate jungle we call life.

Top Photo Courtesy: HBO