First impressions can make or break the business partnership you’ve been dreaming of or can seal the deal on bringing that hottie back home with you. Interpersonal attraction is what makes this world churn and turn, so become a gear to this machine and make your mark known.
In the modern world where opportunity is scarce, we are and should be looking to capitalize on every break that life throws at us. The sharp crudeness of life puts us on edge for the unknown, while catapulting us to heights of insurmountable achievement as we test our humanly-limits. Yet these very same limits cannot be tested without the initial contingency to allow our inner entrepreneur, or alpha, to blossom.
Meeting people is easy. Being remembered is the curveball of communication and interaction. The biggest factor in determining interpersonal attraction in Western culture is the physical attractiveness of the two parties meeting. Without getting into the semantics and egocentrism of determining one’s beauty or attractiveness, not everyone is considered attractive in accordance with societal or personal norms. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, meaning you have to do everything to make damn sure this “beholder” thinks you’re the best thing since water.
Confidence is key to determining interpersonal attraction. The term confidence can be recognized as the cliché personal virtue and fortitude. But confidence can also mean a comfortable indifference in which your interaction with another person is as natural as possible. Make every conversation seem like a conversation with your best friend.
Regardless of whom you are meeting for the first time, talking nonchalantly as if you knew them your entire life will naturally spark the relationship. However, being careless with your word-choice and tone can make you uninteresting and flat-out boring. Conversely, over-forced assurance can display unnatural vibes of hubris that will also negatively label you as cocky or overbearing.
People tend to naturally dissect or size-up someone before they meet, playing this psychological “game” of identifying the attractive qualities in a person, hoping they remain true throughout their conversation. Usually these looked-for qualities are reflective of our own personalities as most people are looking for compatibility within intimate or business relationships. As we discover the underlying characteristics of each other, perceptions arise to match the face. You’re only as good as your last play, and if your last play is perceived as someone untrustworthy or a flat-out creep, then it’s time to polish up your communicative game.
Finding the equilibrium of your personality is the key to being introduced and never having to be introduced again. Predicting interpersonal attraction is tough in the first place. Not knowing whether your new boss or your hot neighbor likes you is a tricky situation. The very first conversations people have are vital to a relationship, as these initial perceptions hold a bias for future interactions amongst these persons. They create a context around a person so they can subsequently be assessed again.
Knowing how to be humorous while being taken seriously takes time and experience. The awkwardness of a first introduction, particularly in an intimate relationship, sucks. In the moment where perfect ice breakers and conversation starters are hard to come by, awkwardness can and will consume you, leading to dead ends with nothing to talk about. Yet there is a possibility that this awkwardness can be used in your advantage. Sometimes the opposite sex finds innocence and awkwardness to be cute and adorable.
Use it. Adapt.
One thing I’ve learned toward interacting is that the awkwardness of an initial conversation can be avoided by simply being upfront about how awkward a situation is getting. It sounds counterintuitive, but being frank and honest tends to avoid the bubbly awkwardness of a first conversation. More importantly, being natural about your awkwardness is paramount in keeping a level head in any conversation. Make your awkwardness seem habitual and soon this awkwardness quickly turns into charm.
Be prepared for the innate butterflies of nervousness, be calm in the face of awkwardness and most importantly be memorable. Your reputation and presence are interconnected and synonymous; make sure that both are polished bowling balls ready to throw strikes. They will be put to the test the instant you shake the hand of your potential client or potential lover. Making a lasting first impression is like treading on the tightrope of risk. This is chess, not checkers.
Andre Simpson | Elite.
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